I was using the wayback machine recently to look up an old website. In case you don’t know it is a site that has indexed and stored past examples of peoples web pages so you can go back and look them up years later.
Looking around at some of our original blog posts that disappeared when our original blog software stopped working. In the old days we didn’t have Word Press and Blogger. Blogs were either hand built, or created using desktop software. We used a program called Tangelo, quite happily for a number of years. Anyway, I am going to reprint a few of the more humorous posts. Sadly on many of them the original images have not been stored, so they might be text only.
Bimbo’s Last Stand 2008
History is littered with tales of heroic last stands, usually against forces much bigger than the defenders, there was Rorkes drift, The Battle of Gandamak and The Battle of the Imjin River all fought by British troops, the Alamo and Battle of the Little Bighorn by our American cousins and the immortal Camarón which established the Foreign Legion as one of the world’s elite fighting forces.
Predating all of these was the Battle of Thermopylae in Greece when King Leonidas and his Spartan soldiers, accompanied by a force of allied Greek city states, held back a much larger Persian force under Xerxes for three days in one of the most memorable and eulogized last stands in classical antiquity. Well now we have another last stand on the island of Greece to rank up there with the battles of antiquity.
Bimbo Bishton
Bimbo Bishton, who we occasionally work with, has for a number of years provided Victorian carousels for the Christmas event in Athens. A venture which has proven both lucrative and enjoyable over the years. This year however there was the little problem of a major riot taking place after the shooting dead of a young Greek boy.
The rioters went berserk in the city square and flattened pretty much everything, setting fire to hotels, shops, cars and anything else that took their fancy. Slap bang in the middle of this stood alone the slightly portly figure of Bimbo armed only with 3 fire extinguishers, facing a crowd which Bimbo estimated at 100,000, but the BBC world service claimed to be around the 10,000 mark (I suppose when you are facing them alone it looks more like 100,000).
Petrol Bombs And Arsonists
I spoke to Bimbo about the events and he explained one particularly tense moment. It seems a young Greek man was holding a petrol bomb in one hand and trying unsuccessfully to strike his lighter in the other, all the time Bimbo was trying to convince him not to set fire to his ride, (Bimbo told me at this point he was debating whether or not to kick the said young man in the testicles), the potential arsonist appeared to be taking no notice of Bimbo when his lighter suddenly flared to life, he looked at Bimbo, shrugged his shoulders and promptly threw the bomb at the giant Christmas tree, so really it is Bimbo’s fault that the Athenians lost their famous tree. As the night wore on our intrepid hero was stoically holding his ground when a cloud of teargas drifted his way and proved to him why it was so named,
Bimbo said that at this point he was more interested in water for his eyes than in guarding the carousel, but luckily for him one of the rioters explained that water is no good for tear gas, you need lemon juice to neutralise the chemicals and obliged by providing some I can categorically state however that rumours Bimbo is thinking of setting up a Jif lemon stall at future events are untrue.
Thankfully both Bimbo and the Carousel survived the evening. Bimbo even remarked at how civilised the rioters were, as he put it, there were very few injuries and signs of violence against people, it all seemed to be directed at property, indeed one vendor in a street kiosk remained open throughout the riots and wasn’t molested in any way.
Oops 2009
Arthur almost struck again last weekend. What happened was this, we were contracted to supply 4 games units to an event in the North East. One of these games was our striker (test your strength machine) which is 13ft high. On arrival we were shown the room which would accommodate these games, including the high roofed part of the building where the striker was to be positioned. Due to the fact that once erected the striker would block the door, we were told that we couldn’t erect it until after all of the guests had arrived. This isn’t a problem as it takes a matter of seconds to assemble the device.
We carried it into the room and left it on the floor near to where it had to go. Almost everyone had arrived when we were told to put the striker up. As we pushed it skyward we discovered to our horror that the room was about 6 inches to low! As we stood there wondering where to go, one of the guys who had hired us told us to push the plastic roof tile out of place and let the striker poke into the attic.
We did this, but try as we might the tile remained wobbling in position. Arthur decided to go to the pool room and bring back a long extension bar to dislodge the tile, which he promptly did just as the managing director’s wife walked through the door. If she had been two steps quicker, Arthur would have subjected her to a drastic reshaping of her nose, something along the lines of amputation without a general anaesthetic!
Luckily everyone present had a sense of humour.
Flash Bang 2009
Coming back to the yard last week I notice a large stretch of the adjoining field being dug up. After investigating I discovered that the electricity company are removing the overhead power lines (which run over the middle of our property) and re routing them underground. This is an extremely good idea, especially considering what happened a few years back.
To protect those involved, I won’t name any names John Henry, but I was sat eating breakfast early one morning, contemplating starting to load everything up ready for the move to northallerton. At the time it was absolutely throwing it down with rain, and I didn’t really fancy making a start. Anyway, whilst I was psyching myself up, I suddenly heard a yell, followed by a crash, more yelling and some Anglo Saxon language. Coming out to investigate, I came across the unnamed person (John Henry) who was hobbling about with smoke coming from one of his boots.
What had happened was that he had an aerial mounted on a long pole, fastened to the drawbar of his trailer (caravan). To remove this ready for hitting the road he had to lift it up a couple of foot higher , the power cables ran directly overhead, and with the amount of moisture in the air, a spark of electricity had jumped from the power lines, into the Aerial, down the pole into his knee where the pole was resting and out through his boot to earth!, luckily when he dropped the pole he missed my car which was parked next to him so it could have been much worse.
The Really Really Great Garage Sale
we recently supplied a mulled wine and hot dog cart to an event in London. This was organised by a bunch of celebrity mums including Yasmin Le Bon and Louise Redknapp. I started the day by nearly walking into Yasmin Le Bon, and ended it by her just stopping short of driving into me.
One of our new recruits, Ray, pictured below(in his apron and plastic antenna) spotted someone he recognised part way through the day, “Look Oliver Lance”, he exclaimed.
“Who the heck is he”, I said, thinking it was some rugby player or sports personality.
“She’s off one of them Australian soaps”, said Ray
I wondered why she had a blokes name and asked Ray, “she hasn’t”, was the reply, “She’s called Oliver Lance”
Turned out he was talking about Holly Valance! You can take the guy out of Barnsley, but you can’t take Barnsley out of the guy.
It turned out a quite enjoyable day with amongst others Melanie Blatt, Trinny Woodhall, Christina Estrada all making an appearance.
