Another of our profiles of amusement manufacturers. This one is actually UK based, and both manufactures and refurbishes a range of adult rides. In terms of sales and range of products it is more restricted than many of the big Italian and Dutch marquees. It is however highly regarded within the industry, especially the home market.
The company takes its name from the founder, Perrin William Stevens, who during the 1970’s built and sold rides around Europe, and even as far as the States.
Nowadays they have factories in both England and Poland, and as well as building new rides, they also refurbish older rides and equipment. Their specialities are Twists, Dodgems, Extremes and the Frogs.
PWS Sizzler Twist
One of its mainstays is the sizzler twist. This is much the same ride as the Eli Bridge ‘Scrambler’, but the PWS version is a more hi tech take on its American cousin. It is also designed to fold up onto its transport trailer, so is bigger, and more highly decorated than the Eli version.
twist sizzler
The Extreme
Another of the rides PWS are known for. The Extreme is an update on an older ride called the orbiter. The seats were changed to a version where the riders legs dangled, giving a more thrilling feel to the motion.
Extreme Ride PWS
Super Trooper
Another revamp of an existing ride. Paratrooper type rides have been around since the 1960’s. Originally they were built at a fixed angle. This meant the ride had to be rotated one car at a time to load and unload the passengers. Then the lifting paratrooper made an appearance. As the ride ended it was hydraulically lowered to the ground allowing all of the cars to load at the same time.
The Super Trooper took this in a new direction. The ride started on the floor to be loaded, then once active would rise into the air, it could then operate both horizontally, and tilt to give the classic paratrooper motion.
super trooper
Refurb
PWS also have a steady business refurbishing and updating many of the older rides still in operation. A revamp can give a ride a new lease of life. Keeping it competitive with the newer thrill rides permeating the fairgrounds of today, whilst keeping the cost affordable.
Over the years there has been some way out and wacky rides designed for the funfair industry. Some have worked and became classics. Others were either too unreliable, vomit inducing or just downright dangerous. The flying cars could be argued to be dangerous as it did in fact kill someone. However the someone failed to fasten their safety belt so its an arguable case.
Loop De Loop Ride
The ride was something quirky. The drum rotated and the cars were fixed to the track, similar to a roller coaster. The cars had a brake pedal which clamped the car to the track causing it to climb the drum. Once it had climbed you released the brake to allow it to fall back down and up the other side. Eventually you built enough momentum up to go 360 around the full drum.
The Ride In Action
Unfortunately someone failed to fasten their seatbelt and was killed in the fall which resulted in the ride being removed. Modern technology would probably solve that problem now with interlocked safety bars and the like.
There was records of a second, double drum flying cars ride being built for Conklin’s Carnivals, but scant records exist of that model or any other rides.
The ride was built by a German manufacturer, but despite the wonders of the world wide web, we have been unable to find out which particular one.
Next up in our ongoing series of amusement ride manufacturer profiles, is the long established American company of Eli Bridge.
The founder W.E. Sullivan visited the original Ferris Wheel at the Columbian Exposition in 1893. He (like George Washington Gale Ferris) owned a bridge building company. After his ride he became fascinated by the ride and decided to build one of his own. In collaboration with the machinist James H Clements they began construction of their own wheel.
This debuted in Jacksonville’s Central Park and was called the Big Eli Wheel. The ride was a success and Sullivan set up a company to manufacture his wheels.
Their first wheels were powered by 6h.p. huber steam engines and came in two sizes, 45ft portable models and 50ft park based designs. There was also a 55ft ‘Aristocrat’ model.
Early Ferris Wheel
The company was originally located in Roodhouse, Illinois, next to a railway track, allowing for easy distribution around the country. In 1919 a new purpose built building was erected in Jacksonville, also next to the railroad. The company has been there ever since. It’s 76,000 sq ft facility contains a room tall enough to erect a big wheel in.
Rim Drive Wheel
Modern Eli Bridge Wheels
The company still produces wheels to this day. A modern Eli Bridge, is, truth told, little changed from the earlier models. Sure, there is no doubt the construction will use moderner materials and methods. But the look and feel of the ride definitely contains the same DNA. That isn’t meant as a criticism. The fact is the early formula worked well, and still works well, so why change it?
One major change is the drive system. For generations, the wheel used a wire rope, that passed through a pulley which was rotated by an electric motor. The system worked fine, and still does as hundreds of wheels around the world continue its use. It did however have a couple of disadvantages. The rope gradually stretched, and as it did the drive began to slip. Murphy’s law would dictate this happened just as you got busy. The other failure was when the rope snapped. A sensible operator would keep a spare, and could change it relatively quickly, but it is still inconvenient and would lose you revenue.
Ferris Wheel Wire Drive
Rim Drive
To counter the wire rope issues, the company has now switched to rim drive systems. This works by attaching a flat rim to one side of the ride. An electrically driven wheel would contact the rim and as it rotated, would rotate the ride. No slipping or snapping and a much more precise regulation of the speed available from a modern inverter driven control system.
Rim Drive
Scrambler A New Chapter
1955 brought a new chapter for the company, with the launch of its Scrambler ride, the first non wheel addition to its portfolio. Known over here as a ‘Twist’ the ride took the American amusement industry by storm, and is still prevalent at funfairs around the world today, albeit in many versions from many different manufacturers.
Eli Bridge Twist
Other Products
They also sell a couple of children’s rides, including the quirky Spider Mania, to which I can’t really find a comparable ride in the UK.
Spider Mania
A line of fire pits for camping expeditions and Boy Scout troops round off the companies product list.
. One quirky fact is that the word Bridge was deliberately left in the company name, so that they could still build bridges, their original business model. Though records indicate that since they started selling wheels, they have only actually built one bridge.
The world renowned graffiti artist, Banks’y happens to be a favourite of my daughters. To be honest I quite like his style too. A few years back when she was studying art at school, she made Banksy her special project, so one day we jumped in the car and drove to Bristol to visit his artworks in the flesh so to speak.
When he announced the Dismaland project, a theme park not suitable for kids as he put it, at an old Lido in Weston Super Mere. We were lucky enough to secure tickets for us and a couple of Emmerson’s friends.
My wife hates using our car due to the size and fuel consumption, but none of the vans would fit 5 people, so I got to enjoy a blast all the way down the country in my Mas. During the periods the wife fell asleep I got to enjoy the 400+ horses under the bonnet without screams of “Look at the fuel consumption” lol.
When we got to the park, the queue was enormous. It was then that I realised a possible problem. I had actually bought the tickets on ebay, not through a regular channel as they were next to impossible to obtain. Basically the ticket was a sheet of A4 paper with a barcode. Anyone could have put them together, or the same ticket could have been sold multiple times.
Crap, but I did have a cunning plan, I sent the kids in first to see what happened. In the event they walked straight in so we were ok.
A Park With A Difference
Now the park itself was different, very different, but something we all enjoyed. However I have to say it brought a worrying trend home. The whole idea was that the park was meant to be a dismal, unfriendly place, with surly staff that couldn’t be bothered with the customers. A spoof on a traditional fairground.
Thing I realised was, the customer service part was pretty much what you see on some fairgrounds today. Young kids in the stalls playing on their phones who viewed you as a nuisance if you wanted to play. Operators in the rides looking bored and disinterested. At one point the wife and I were stood debating whether we should go into a particular structure. When the girl on the outside shouted at us “In or out, in or out, don’t stand there blocking the ride, make your mind up!”
I burst out laughing, because a very good friend of mine has exactly the same customer facing skills. I have seen her shout very similar commands when some poor unfortunate is stood at the ride entrance making their mind up.
One of the many twisted rides
I was impressed by the thought that had gone into the attractions. To be sure they were taking traditional funfair attractions and twisting them into some steam punk, distressed interpretation of what they would have been. But in some cases hitting the nail right on the head.
It’s Impossible To Win!
Topple The Anvil With A Rubber Ball
Take topple the anvil for instance. I should imagine its physically impossible to knock an anvil off the shelf with a rubber ball. But then, there are games I have seen on fairgrounds that are equally impossible. The traditional coconut shie was renowned for having ‘duds’, that is some of the coconuts you were trying to knock off were actually metal replicas. Nothing short of an Exocet missile would move them.
Not strictly true on a real fairgound but not far from the truth on some games.
One of my favourite shows was death riding the dodgem car. Played to trance music it was one of the earlier attractions we encountered and was just plain funny.
Death Dodgems
There was plenty of Banksy’s political commentary, such as the coin operated remote control boats. Which happened to be boats filled with refugees. Or the exhibition of various weapons used by governments to oppress the people.
Remote Controlled Refugee Boats
There were also some weird commentary on consumerism and minority representation such as the gifts below sold in the shop.
Battlefield Casualty Action Man
But The Food Was Good
Lol, even the catering didn’t escape his vitriol.
Lol, I can vouch ours contain pork
Although some people slated the park, I think it is because they just didn’t get the sarcasm mixed with social commentary undercurrent that it was put together with. We had a great time.
One thing that the funfair industry is very poor at, is PR. Possibly because we tend to keep outsiders at arms length, many people have very little idea of how the industry works. Often we are regarded as gypsies (we are not, they are a totally separate ethnic/cultural group), there is this idea that funfairs just roll up willy nilly and set up on a piece of land they have no right to. That rides are thrown together by semi literate knuckle grabbing high school drop outs who have no idea what they are doing. So in an effort to spread a little fact, to counter some of the common fiction, we are going to answer some common funfair questions. If you have any others add them in the comment section and we will answer them for you.
1.2 Risks to the public at fairs and amusement parks have proved to be quite small, on average, despite common perceptions to the contrary. For example, the risk of death from a typical session is estimated, on a pessimistic basis, at 1 in 83 million, which is: a) about one twelfth that from a typical walk to get to the site;
Lets compare that 1 in 83 million figure.
Your risks of dying from the following pursuits;
Car Accident – 1 in 200
Train Crash – 1 in 65,000
Shark Attack – 1 in 3.7 million
Plane Crash – 1 in 7.6 million
Struck by Lightning – 1 in 14 million
So does this mean that the experience is totally risk free. Sadly not. Modern rides are high speed complex pieces of machinery subject to immense stress and high G forces. Modern computerised design and testing systems mean that much of the dangers have been designed out. However over time, metal corrodes and weakens, systems can fail. So how is this counteracted.
ADIPS
The ADIPS scheme requires a comprehensive safety test every year for each piece of equipment. This covers electrical and mechanical safety, as well as non destructive testing such as x-rays or dye penetration to check for cracks and metal fatigue. Rides are also required to have a daily check scheme in place which is recorded every day.
The weakest link, as always, are humans. Checks rely on the operator carrying them out and taking action on faults that are found. Most rides are operated by the families that own them, so the incentive to carry these out correctly is not only possible large fines and/or jail, but also the massive loss of income if they are closed down.
The Human Factor
The one factor we don’t have control over, are the actions of our customers, more humans. In my 50 years on the funfair I have only ever been at a fair once where someone was sadly killed. What happened was that a young man climbed over a 6ft high safety rail to go and push his friends on a ride called the swinging gyms. Basically a box containing 4 of his friends, you rock the box back and forth to gradually gain height and go over the top.
He ran to give them a push, tripped and landed on the bottom of the ride, as the box came down it crushed him. Totally tragic, and totally avoidable by the poor victim. But it is hard to see what more the operator could have been expected to do.
Swinging Gym funfair ride
Similarly we regularly have arguments on rides with minimum height limits. Parents want their offspring to go on the ride but they are not tall enough. Enraged they demand that they are allowed on because the parent knows best and evidently wants to willingly put their little darlings at risk!
2 Do They Carry Insurance?
Yes, two types. The first covers the actual equipment for damage or loss from theft/fire/accident. A typical modern ride easily costs in the mid six figure bracket. A few examples are in the millions bracket, so it isn’t feasible to chance losing investments on this level.
The other is public liability insurance, covering the riders and members of public. Most rides have two policies, the first carries £1 million cover. We than pay into a trade organisation fund which adds an additional £10 million to this.
Most local authorities require a minimum of £5 million, so our industry is well in excess of what is required.
Insurance Policy
3 Do Fairgrounds Just Set Up Anywhere?
Another really popular misconception. We have set up in high streets in the past, only to have a local resident actually call the council to ‘make them aware’ that the high street is ‘under occupation’ by the fair folk.
At the minute (2021) things are still a little strange what with Covid and all. Normally, on January 1st, we could usually list the dates and locations of all our events for that year. Indeed some like Nottingham Goose Fair, have been operating for hundreds of years.
Look, a large funfair is a major logistical exercise. To move dozens of ultra large vehicles around the country to set up an event easily costs tens of thousands of pounds. Realistically, is anyone going to throw that kind of money about in the hope that when they set up the council and police will allow them to stay. An expensive mistake if they don’t.
Additionally the event needs to be advertised, additional logistics like filling generator fuel tanks, or providing a suitable locations for the living quarters all need to be arranged.
Take a look at the picture below, there is no way something like that can just be randomly thrown together, that is planned months in advance.
Newcastle Hoppings Funfair
4 Why Are Fairground Workers Covered In Tattoos And Have No Teeth?
Lol, I just love some of the funfair questions we are subject to. The funfair community is an incredibly close knit one. Most of us either know each other, or at the very least are only a couple of steps away from knowing each other.
I know of only one ‘funfair operator’ who has tattoos. A really nice lad, he wasn’t actually brought up on the fairground but married into it. That’s it. Tattoos just aren’t considered a socially acceptable thing within the industry.
‘Ah’, I hear you cry, Mark off the waltzers who I was snogging has them. Well, yep, Mark probably does. Thing is, Mark is a local lad that has been employed casually to help out at your local fair. Next week he will go back to being unemployed Mark.
We don’t have a particular problem with the practise, it’s just not one we engage with as a rule.
A noted exception has to be mentioned though, a few generations ago, when times were particularly hard, one lady struggling to feed her kids, actually had her entire body, sans her neck face and hands, tattooed. She went on to appear as the main exhibit in her own sideshow.
Artoria Gibbons
The pain must have been incredible, they were a hardy breed back then.
Regarding the teeth thing, we actually do visit dentists, and I can’t honestly say that funfair dentition is any different to non funfair dentition.
5 Do You Have Things Like Running Water And Electricity?
Out of the many funfair questions we get asked, these ones really do bug us. No we eat cold food, don’t wash and go to bed when it gets dark. Or at least some seem to believe so. Pictured below is the interior of a modern caravan. Fully furnished and connected to electricity, gas and running water. Oh, and flushing toilets, probably the same make as in your house.
Gas, it probably slightly different as we tend to use bottled gas or LPG, rather than a fixed connection, which tends to be difficult with all the moving about and such.
Storage space tends to be built into sofa’s and various nooks and crannys as well as the cupboards and wardrobes. The end result is quite often more room and storage available than a typical modern house. Most caravan’s have entire sections that slide out to make the actual home much bigger than it is when being transported by road.
I remember a few years back in Holland, actually seeing a double deck caravan, IE it had a top floor, though that doesn’t seemed to have made it to these shores yet.
Caravan Interior
If there are any others you know of leave a comment and we will add to the answers.
The equality for women movement has existed for a long time in this country. Logically there isn’t a viable argument to be made for not treating them as equal. OK, there are some niche items, usually involving brute strength where an average man is stronger than an average woman, but I can’t really think of much else.
On the fairground however, things are very different. Women have pretty much been the equal of their men folk, well, forever. Heck, who am I kidding, most of the time they are leading from the front. It’s one of the few industries where the business is usually a genuinely equal partnership between the sexes.
Global Pandemic
As you will see, his was illustrated perfectly when the Covid-19 crisis struck.
Funfairs, like much of the entertainment industry was closed down, and received little in the way of government support.
A few showmen managed to provide some local funfairs, but in many cases, even though the government gave the go ahead for this, the local authorities refused to play ball and promptly closed them down.
True to form, the showmen (and women ) immediately pivoted into a myriad of other lines of work. From delivering parcels to baking cakes to making garden furniture, they needed to feed their families and so just got stuck in.
Showmen’s Guild
Our trade organisation the ‘Guild’ as it is popularly known, has come in for a lot of flak during this time. It is commonly felt that they have neither done enough, nor been seen to be doing enough.
For the former, it’s a debatable point. I am sure that plenty has been going on behind the scenes. However they haven’t done a very good job of communicating this to the members.
When it comes to pushing our case to the wider world, it has to be said that our industry hasn’t been particularly visible either in the traditional media, or just as importantly, on social media.
Step Forward The Ladies
In an attempt to remedy this, a group of ladies from within the industry have decided to step up and take the matter into their own hands. Forming a campaign group known as “Future 4 Fairgrounds”, they have began a PR campaign to try and focus a spotlight upon the plight of our industry.
Future 4 Fairgrounds
They have made excellent use of social media, which, in this day and age is just as important as the traditional media outlets. From regular Facebook posts, to some professionally produced videos on Youtube, there has been a marked increase in our industries online presence.
Coupled with this have been regular appearances of the F4F banners, at various events around the country. Many street fairs have been cancelled due to the crises. At a few, a token children’s rides have attended to maintain the link to the fairs charter. Quite often the ride has proudly sported a banner publicising our plight to the public.
A range of car stickers were also produced and have turned up in some surprising places.
Facebook
Their campaign has been a brilliant addition to publicising our industries plight. The Facebook page at Future4Fairgrounds is fast becoming a valuable resource. Showing just what is happening around the country regarding the funfair industry. The ladies appear to be building some valuable links with M.P.’s and other influential organisations.
Like many traditional industries, ours is going to look very different coming out of the crisis. It’s arguable how much longer we can deal with being totally closed without any help. A lot of showmen may well never get started back up.
Initiatives like the F4F group are going to be more important than ever as we enter the second year of Covid. So good luck ladies, and keep flying high.
Thankfully this isn’t one of our tales. The guy involved does contract work for us quite often, and is a good operator, I think here he was just unlucky. Twice.
He was attending a funfair in Ireland with his freakout ride. A bang up to date modern thrill ride, that is both high and fast. Imaging a giant arm with seats attached swinging in a massive arc up into the sky, back down then repeating in the opposite direction.
Well, turns out that the fair he was attending, was already in operation, so he had to pull in and set up in the early hours of the morning. Which, he duly did. Unfortunately it turns out he miscalculated his footprint in the dark, and realised the next morning, in the gloom of daylight, that if he set said ride in operation, it would wrap itself around a tree. Things that collide with trees tend to come off second best.
Due to health and safety restrictions he couldn’t take it back down during the operating hours of the fair, so cue another through the night operation to derig it, move it and set it back up.
Truck Collides With Tree
Attempt Number 2
He duly managed this with a little time to spare before daylight. Adhering to the old adage of measuring twice and cutting once, he had triple checked the swing and was absolutely sure it would miss the tree.
So, come opening hour all was good. Only sadly it wasn’t. Just as he was about to set the first ride off, another operator come running up in a panic, to point out that if his ride (the other operator) and the star of our tale were both to set their respective rides going. It would result in a massive collision of two high speed rides.
Health and safety meant that they couldn’t operate alternately, as the risk of inadvertently setting them both of together was just too great. And once again, he couldn’t derig during the operation of the fair. So our intrepid hero had to sit his second day out.
Attempt Number 3
Our hero, undaunted, worked tirelessly through the night to derig and once again set up. This time away from trees, other operators rides and anything else he could think of.
So as day three dawned he thankfully prepared to at last earn some money.
Sadly, due to rising Covid-19 rates in the area, the council chose that day to close the full event down. And then cancel it. So despite three attempts at setting up, he sadly ended up poorer, but wiser.
We upgraded our hot dog service from regular (boring) ole weiners, to rip roaring gourmet hot dogs. With a range of fun, quirky and delicious toppings. Settling on our final ‘Standard’ menu, we went through a number of trial dogs. Some of our favourites are listed here. Some made the cut some didn’t but all are available on request for your event.
Tex-Mex Dog
Tex-Mex Gourmet Dog
Start with a standard frankfurter. Add a layer of nacho cheese sauce, red jalapeno peppers, sliced of course, and garnished with onions and nachos. Big enough to fill a Texican, well some of them.
Chilli Dog
Chilli Dog
An old favourite this one, a broiled frank, slathered in quality beef chilli, topped with red peppers and garnished with grated cheese.
The John Wayne
The John Wayne
Named after our favourite cowboy, well, there are one or two in the fairground industry we like, but you probably won’t know them. A broiled weiner chopped into sections, slathered in baked beans, garnished with peppers, then finished with your choice of condiments.
Dutch Dog
Dutch Dog
From the land of windmills, clogs, very tall people and erm, slightly dodgy brownies. Ie Holland, or the Netherlands home of the Dutch. Gee it must be awfully cramped over there with 3 lots all living in the same place. This one is a regular frankfurter. Dressed with a mixture of peppers and chopped onions, marinated in mayonnaise. Garnished with poffertjes, those little tiny Dutch pancakes to finish.
The Samurai
The Samurai
From the land of the rising sun, samurais and cooking that can kill you like the puffer fish. Take a frankfurter, place it on a bed of sushi, which contrary to popular belief, isn’t raw fish, its actually vinegar pickled rice. Add a few slices of fish, and garnish with wasabi and soy sauce.
The Floss Dog
The floss dog
Personally I wanted to call this the vomit dog, but I was voted down as it turns out some people actually like it, weirdo’s! One of our finest frankfurters, placed on a bed of bloody candy floss, drizzled with chocolate sauce, I mean chocolate on a hot dog. Then topped with sugar sprinkles. Makes you wanna throw up.
Anyway we have loads of new ideas, so gourmet hot dogs is definitely something we will be expanding in the future.
If you fancy hot dog cart hire without the floss version get in touch.
Spreepark is a derelict amusement park located on the outskirts of Berlin, abandoned and eerie. It has been abandoned for over 10 years. Throughout the park you can find remains of children’s rides and game stalls as well as life size dinosaur statues. The park was originally created and set in 1969 and was called Veb Kulturpark Planterwald. Set up by the Communist government in East Berlin. The park thrived throughout the communist era until the fall of the Berlin wall 20 years later.
In 1991 Norbet Witte took over the park and renamed it ‘Spreepark’. Making many changes he transformed the amusement park, adding grass and water landscapes and bringing a line of new modern rides from the Mirapolis amusement park in Paris. Mr Witte changed the park numerous times and even added an English village. However it later came out that Norbet Witte was a controversial park manager and was involved in illegal activities such as smuggling cocaine, which he achieved by hiding it in parts of ride equipment that he shipped between Peru, Germany and Belgium. Due to this information surfacing the park was closed down in 2002.
2002
From 2002 the park remained shut down, with erosion and nature soaring throughout the park. Causing destructive damage and in 2014 a fire started by arson destroyed much of the equipment in the park. Due to this the government increased security on the site with new fences around the perimeter. Miraculously in 2016 a company put forward a plan to take over the park. To transform it into a location for arts and culture. The company Grun Berlin GmbH was owned by the city of Berlin. They forwarded the proposed plans in late 2018 and are considered to be implemented over several years.
As of last year many of the attractions was removed. However some of the main features such as the large Ferris wheel and rollercoaster remain. Along with the restaurant from the very first year of the park being open, and a water ride, carousel and cinema from the takeover period.
The park was the only of its kind in the communist era. Covering around 74 acres it welcomed around half a million visitors per year at its peak popularity. The Ferris wheel (photographed above) was the parks most popular feature. Being upgraded in 1989 to celebrate the 40th anniversary. Adding more cabins to the ride and increasing the height of the structure .
Originally we were traditional funfair operators. We then started to make the move into organising funfair events. Eventually we reached the point where we decided to specialise purely in corporate and private events. The sort where we don’t charge the guests, the person booking us pays a fixed rate.
But in between the two extremes, we had a period, where we were taking on paid work and traditional festivals, fetes, galas, in fact we would try anything.
Over time we found that only a small percentage of events ended up financially viable, but it was a steep learning curve. Two events in particular stand out from this period.
Peterborough Showground
We were contacted by a gentleman who was putting together a huge event (his words) at Peterborough Showground. This was to raise money for charity, he was expecting in excess of 50,000 people to attend, and the night would be highlighted by a set played by One Direction, fresh from winning whatever reality show they had won.
Arthur and I travelled to meet him. He had the spiel, and he ticked the boxes showing us the contract already signed for One Direction, so it looked pretty good. In hindsight, (that most wonderfully useless of skills) we should have been a teeny bit suspicious of his qualifications to run an event of this scale, when we had to help him jump start his 30 year old clapped out Fiat Panda, because it wouldn’t start. But hey, he might have been one of those eccentric promoters. We have in fairness dealt with multi millionaires before, who looked like a close relation to Greengrass of Heartbeat fame.
We sorted a deal out, and agreed to organise a funfair event on a grand scale, thrill rides, family rides, games stalls, catering, the kitchen sink and all.
The Big Day
I was at another event on the big day. So Arthur, my part time partner in crime was going to be in charge. We had attracted a number of other operators with our enthusiastic selling of the event, so we did have a big selection of equipment set up.
On the morning I received two phone calls. The first was from a mate Graham. He wanted to thank me for letting him attend the festival. As he had this theory you see, that the more portable toilets at an event, the bigger the crowd was going to be. He told me that the toilets were lined up as far as the eye could see, he was already planning his retirement to a Caribbean island based on what he was going to earn.
The Second Call
The second call came from Arthur and was rather more panicked. When I had calmed him down enough to talk rationally he came out with a classic line. “Do you know how many tickets he has sold for this event?”
In fairness I had no idea, I was hoping for something like 40,000 but I thought that really anything over 20,000 would be a major event.
“427”, was Arthur’s now icily calm statement.
“Shit, 427 thousand, the venue won’t take that many people, health and safety will shut us down.” Now I was starting to panic.
“No”, said Arthur, “Not 427 FU***NG thousand, FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN, as in three digits, as in we are in trouble. He thinks that lots of people will just turn up on the day and pay at the gate”
Well, at least I wasn’t there, so Arthur would have to deal with everyone. Graham didn’t talk to me for quite a while after that. I think they ended up with an attendance of about 800.
The moral of the story is never trust a guy in a broken down Fiat Panda.
This Is How Peterborough Felt
Ripon Racecourse
The second, followed a similar pattern. A guy called Simon was putting an event on at Ripon racecourse. Rennie, another part time collaborator, and I went to meet him. He laid out the plans, the army was coming, the navy, airforce, a massive classic car show, giant car boot. Not as impressive as Peterborough, but a nice sized localish event. We agreed terms and shook hands.
Now the night before we were due to set up, I attended an event in Glossop with a couple of children’s rides. One of them which was trailer mounted, had a wheel bearing collapse, and being a Saturday afternoon in a small town, I couldn’t source a replacement.
After the event, the AA refused to recover the trailer and instead got me a quote of £700 to take it the 40 miles back home. Bugger that, I ended up adjusting the towbar to take the weight off the back of the ride, and came home on three wheels. The last leg coming through the centre of Barnsley, I passed more bloody Police cars than I have ever seen, but thankfully whatever was going off kept them too preoccupied to notice my DIY three wheeler.
I arrive At Ripon
Because of the hassles at Glossop, I ended up getting home in the early hours of the morning. Because both Arthur and Rennie were going to be at Ripon, I decided to let them sort the layout of the event out and I would turn up later to set my equipment up.
By the time I arrived at Ripon, it was raining lightly. I rounded the corner and pulled into a field, containing a fair bit of funfair equipment and nothing else. No Army, Navy or Air Force, no car show or giant car boot. WTF
As I jumped out of my lorry, that nutcase Simon ran up, with no shirt on singing ‘Three wheels on my wagon’. I looked at Arthur who smiled, he felt he still owed me for Peterborough. “You’ll have to explain to everyone why there is nothing here and no bloody people this time.” says he.
Oh Lord, “Where is everything Simon, I enquired politely though gritted teeth.”
“Not sure he beamed, thought it would be here by now, but don’t worry.”
“why don’t worry what have you got up your sleeve?” I hopefully asked.
“Well nothing really, but it’s great to be alive. God loves us”, he was still beaming.
It was at that point I decided to move him nearer to God. Thankfully, for him, Rennie and Arthur grabbed an arm each and kept me rooted to the spot, Simon, oblivious to his rapidly shortening life expectancy trotted off to his refrain of singing in the rain.
Killer Swans
When I had calmed down enough for them to let me loose. I looked at them and asked what we were going to do. “Your in charge” said Arthur, “Up to you this time”. He had a matching grin to Simons.
Just at that precise moment, karma decided to intervene. Ripon has a population of swans in its lake. Now most of them stayed away from us all in the lake. But one swan, a bit more adventurous than the rest had decided to come check us out. We were stood there, a bit like the three stooges, when the said swan decided to attack. Well, to be more precise, he left Rennie and I alone, and set about Arthur.
Ha, he wasn’t laughing now, and I hadn’t realised just how big and aggressive swans could be. Arthur ended up running away. But for the rest of the day, whenever he stopped in one place too long, the swan would swoop in and attack. Funny, it never bothered anyone else, well except for the young lady who had just bought a chocolate bun from the coffee stall, she had unwrapped it and was staring at it longingly, when a head on a long white neck, came from over her shoulder and snatched it.
Arthur’s Mate
At Ripon we had only taken smaller attractions, so we just about covered our expenses.
We had a far more serious problem at another event Called The Great Yorkshire Carnival, but I am saving that for a future post.
If you would like to hire dodgems, games or any other attractions we can do that.
