Crazy & Co.

25 Weird Burgers From Around The World

6 April 2021

We recently added Gourmet burgers to our line up of catering options. On top of the usual cheeseburger, and bacon etc, we added some options a little more quirky. Things such as nacho’s, sushi and such like. However the burgers listed here are way beyond what we consider quirky and definitely venture inot the weird burgers catagory..

1 The Cronut Burger

A fusion of sweet and savoury this one. A beef patty with cheese, between the cheeks of a sugary doughnut. A Canadian invention, between a pastry shop Le Dolci, and Epic Burger and Waffles for the Canadian National Exhibition. This one looks like it could be tasty, however it didn’t have a happy ending. One of the ingredients sourced for the burger, maple jam, was contaminated with staphylococcus aureus causing 150 people at the show to fall ill. Still looks tasty, but we’d go light on the jam.

2 The Quadruple Bypass Burger

A 9982 calorie bohemoth, even by American standards. Two pound of beef, twenty rashers of bacon, eight cheese slices, a whole tomato and half an onion, in a bum coated with lard.

It is served at the heart attack grill founded in 2005 in Tempe Arizona. Everything they do is along the same theme. With flatliner fries, double and triple bypass burgers for those who can’t face this one, and bigger burgers up to octuple bypass. They even have cigarettes and high fat shakes on the menu. The restaurant has a hospital theme, with doctors taking the order and nurses waiting the tables. Sexily dressed nurses at that. It’s as if someone set out to be as controversial as possible.

3 Yorkshire Pudding Burger

A fusion of traditional Sunday roast with the fast food convenience of a burger. This one is a giant Yorkshire pud with a burger inside. For those who don’t know the Yorkshire pudding isn’t actually a pudding. It is served most often as a constituent of a typical Sunday dinner. However it also works well as a starter with onion gravy. The supersized version here is 5000 calories.

4 Fried Frog Black Burger

No matter how crazy you can think of making something. The Japanese are guaranteed to out crazy you. They make some really weird burgers. This time it is the Orbi Yokohama museum, who offer up this culinary masterpiece. A full fried frog burger. They aren’t content with just the out there filling. They also add in a bun made from bamboo charcoal that is jet black.

5 Russia Rat Burger

Take a look at the burger above, quite innocuous isn’t it? Something you would probably enjoy at many a typical burger joint. Only it isn’t. It’s a rat burger. Well, not your usual Rattus rattus that you don’t want to see anywhere near a restaurant. But a Coypu, or ‘River Rat’. The animal breeds at a super fast rate, making it ideal as a food crop. A case of if you can’t beat them eat them. A specialty of a Russian chef at a high end eterie in Moscow.

6 Wimpy’s Braille Burger

In the days when I was a kid, before the all conquering McDonalds swept the nation. Wimpy was THE burger joint. We spent may a happy time in Wimpy’s around the country. Truth be told, I think their quarterpounders were far better than the McD equivalent.

This burger was part of an experiential marketing campaign to promote it’s new braille menu in South Africa. Reaching over 800,000 blind people across the nation with their braille embossed burgers.

7 Whole Damn Farm Burger

If you are the sort of person who can’t make their mind up over beef or chicken. Then this one is for you. Made from beed, chicken, ham, pork and bacon. About the calorie loading of four big Macs, this is perfect for the indecisive. From Manchester’s Splendid Kitchen, a sadly now defunct American style eatery.

8 Hellfire Burger

This is one hot burger. By hot, we don’t mean as in fashion, or as in very attractive. We mean hot! Measuring over 1 million on the Scoville heat scale. For comparison, some law enforcement pepper sprays can be quite effective at half that.

Topped by six different chillies, and smothered in hot sauce, you not only have to be over 18, but also need to sign a medical waiver before they will serve it to you. The whole thing is served to you on fire.

A creation of the Xtreme Smokehouse and Grill in Washington Iowa.

9 Southern Comfort Stuffed Burger

Slathered with booze spiked sauce. The Southern Comfort is stuffed with mac and cheese wrapped in bacon, then topped with Southern Heat potato chips. Its the Southern Comfort and Peach infused BBq sauce that gives it the special tang.

A product of the Nook in Atalanta.

10 Waffle Burger

Available from lots of places, this is another fusion of sweet and savoury. Fluffy Belgian waffle goodness, surrounding a beef patty, along with egg and bacon. The perfect breakfast to start the day.

11 Wrapped Pizza Burger

A bacon cheeseburger wrapped in a pepperoni pizza. 1360 calories of succulent burger heaven. This frankenburger was a product of Boston’s Restaurant and Sports Bar. Available at more than 40 US restaurants and it’s Canadian franchise.

Although not the healthiest of burgers it still comes nowhere near the big guys records like the Heart Attack Grill, they are some seriously weird burgers.

12 Arby’s Meat Mountain

Originally created as a poster to advertise the fact that the restaurant sold more than beef. It was soon being requested by it’s customers and ended up being a firm favourite on the menu. Consisting of two chicken burgers, three strips of bacon, a slice of swiss and cheddar cheeses, roast turkey, ham, corned beef, roast beef, brisket and Angus steak.

13 Super Duper Bacon Burger

What can be said about this monstrosity. It’s bacon, served with bacon, topped by bacon, with a bacon garnish. I suppose if you like bacon then this is heaven, if you don’t then you’ve ordered the wrong meal. Michigan’s Tony’s I-75 Restaurant is definitely a destination for pork lovers.

14 Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger

If you are going to mix burgers with a dessert you might as well make it with one of your favourites. Two Krispy Kreme doughnuts, three beef patties and three slices of cheese. Nuff said.

15 The Grilled Cheese Burger

Take a grilled cheese sandwich. well, take two of them in fact. Place your burger between them and you have a whole new class of frankenburger.

Coming from an American chain (where else), Friendly’s on the East coast.

16 Deep Fried Double Twinky Burger

Whilst you can rely on the Japanese to come up with the craziest concoctions. You can rely on the Americans to come up with stuff designed to clog your arteries. Take a pork belly patty, with cheese and bacon and sandwich it between two deep fried twinkies and you have another masterpiece from Philadelphia’s PYT. Which is almost as weird as

17 Spaghetti Burger

This, their spaghetti burger. Slathered in marinara sauce, with a mozzarella stuffed meatball patty, red sauce, parmesan flakes and spaghetti in a garlic butter bun. This looks like a weird burger

18 Beer Batter Burger

From Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Pennsylvania. A battered burger with all the trimmings. Oh and the batter is made with beer for extra taste. Also available from them as a 25lb challenge burger for two.

19 Alphabet Burger

This sandwich contains 26 toppings, each one starting with a different letter of the alphabet.

Avocado
Bacon
Cheese
Doritos
Egg
Fish sticks
Garlic bread
Ham
Italian sausage patty
Jalapeño peppers
Krispy Kreme doughnut
Lettuce
Macaroni and cheese
Noodles
Onion rings
Pepperoni
Queso blanco dip
Ramen noodles
Spinach
Turkey burger
Usingers bratwurst
Veal Parmesan
Waffle
Xylocarp (coconut)
Yams
Zucchini

I don’t know what to say. I am stunned, I know how the prophets felt when they saw the burning bush, or the first pot noodle was invented. The W should stand for weird burgers.

20 Hot Fudge Sundae Burger

I don’t know if it is a symptom of the modern world, this rush to get your meal out of the way as soon as possible. But this is another stomach churning attempt to fuse mains with dessert. Take a perfectly good beef burger and add vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce. Take a bow McGuires Irish Pub of Pensacola.

21 White Trash Burger

Named after the outlets signature dips called white trash. This includes cheese, green chillies, jalapenos, diced tomatoes, diced onions and tortilla chips, with a stack of beer battered onion rings. If you want one then you need to head over to the Bukowski Tavern in boston.

22 Bacon Wrapped Macaroni and Cheese Bun Burger

I’m not sure if this is a burger, or an abstract artwork. Mac and cheese wrapped in strips of bacon and used as the bun for a cheeseburger. Not as outlandish or vomit inducing as some on the this list, I could probably eat this.

23 Slaters Merica Burger

Oh Kay, a third of a pound of ground bacon made into a patty, bacon american cheese, egg, thick cut bacon and bacon island dressing on a bacon pretzel bun. Basically you need to like bacon to eat this one. It was reportedly too salty to finish which is saying something when many a burger on this list has a couple of grams or more of salt without any reports of them being salty.

24 The Mario Burger

A little bit of green dye, some circles of cheese and you have a gamers treat.

25 The Fat Sandwich Burger

This one looks like a complete meal in a bun. I am surprised that they haven’t stuck a doughnut or a dollop of ice cream in to round it off. From the Fat Sandwich Company in Illinois

Candy Floss Crazy Gourmet Burgers

Not really part of the list, our burgers are relatively sane. If you want something on the list I am sure our catering team can put it together for you, but if what you want is a range of delicious non heart attack inducing gourmet burgers for your wedding, party or event. Then check out our burger service. Oh and the picture above is actually two burgers, he was a greedy sod.

Have them served from one of our quirky food trucks for an extra twist.

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Fun Story

It Isn’t Easter Again

2 April 2021

About this time last year we posted an article on Easter. TBH, it was programmed in weeks in front, only the day before it auto posted, I had to write a forward about how Easter wasn’t actually happening for the funfair industry, as in line with many business’s Covid had effectively wiped us out.

Now I remember discussing the upcoming year, and how we would probably all be back out for June, only we weren’t. What none of us expected was to actually still be in the same position as we were last year, ie. no funfairs.

A Worrying Trend

What is especially worrying is what actually happened through most of last season. Eventually the government gave the go ahead for funfair to resume. They were outdoors, as they were usually held in large open spaces social distancing wasn’t a problem, and everyone spent money having the annual safety inspections and insurance applied etc.

Then reality hit. Although the government had specifically allowed travelling funfairs to operate, the local authorities decided otherwise. A number of events were actually set up and ready to go, when the relevant local authority closed them down. To add insult to injury, many of the same councils allowed their local theme parks to operate. No disrespect to them, but theme parks tend to have attractions concreted in place, they couldn’t spread them about for social distancing, so what was the reason behind it all.

SAG

Or ‘Safety Advisory Group‘, is the new local authority buzzword. Yet another layer of ‘Health and Safety’ set up to make peoples lives a misery, sorry, improve safety.

Councils are now empowering such groups to make a decision on whether or not a funfair can go ahead. Not based on any particular check box of rules or requirements. But rather on whether the individual SAG group are satisfied with the proposal.

Now, going on past experience, it wouldn’t be so bad if they actually helped. But what we have found is quite often when dealing with H&S the conversation goes a bit like this.

H&S “We are not happy with that, we won’t let you operate”,

“OK, what would you like us to do to comply with what you want?”

H&S “Oh, we can’t tell you that, you do what you think and we will tell you if we are happy!”

So they won’t tell you what they want, just that they don’t want what you are offering.

Last year resulted in an occasional funfair going ahead, but the vast majority closed, with no government grants etc, as the fairgrounds don’t pay business rates, being transient events. It looks much like this will be a repeat, it isn’t Easter again.

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Event Planning, Fun Story, Funfair Games

Shooting Galleries, Tips To Win At The Funfair

Most people will have visited a fairground. Played on the games and lost, and been absolutely convinced the games are cons. The truth is, the vast majority aren’t. They are set up to be difficult, and favour the operator. But they are not set up as charities, the operator needs to take more than he pays out.

Bear in mind the following;

According to the National Lottery website, the odds of winning the major prizes are: Lotto jackpot: 1 in 45,057,474. EuroMillions jackpot: 1 in 139,838,160

Yet no one considers them to be con tricks.

Before we look at shooting galleries there is one thing to understand. The size of the prize on offer is directionally proportional to the difficulty of winning it. Look, if a giant teddy costs the operator £20 wholesale, he needs to earn at least £20 to cover the cost of it. But it doesn’t stop there. There is also the costs of transporting the game to the fair, insuring it, paying for it, paying the ground rent, the diesel for the power generator, ammunition for the guns, maintenance and so on. Realistically before giving out a £20 prize, I would be looking at a minimum of £100 takings to ensure I actually earn something. So if it’s £2 per game, you would expect on average to try 50 times before winning.

Pellets Or Corks

There are two main types of shooting galleries. The traditional air rifles firing pellets, and those firing corks. When it comes to corks there isn’t much help we can offer, use the gun like a shotgun, point it in the general direction and hope for the best

. There is a reason that no army in the world uses cork shaped bullets, and it’s this, corks are not aerodynamic, they start to tumble in random directions as soon as they leave the barrel of the gun. That’s why the army uses, well, bullet shaped bullets.

Now, on the pellet shooters there are some tips that can increase your chances to win, so let’s look at some of the myths you think are stopping you winning.

The Barrel Is Bent

Erm, no it really isn’t. Contrary to popular belief a bent barrel doesn’t make the gun fire somewhere different to where it is aimed. It just doesn’t fire at all as the pellet will jam in the barrel. The gun below with a bent barrel does actually fire around corners, but it a special weapon built especially to do that.

The Sights Are Off

Again no. Well, some probably are, but here is the thing. Military snipers are some of the best marksmen in the world. They spend hour upon hour firing thousands of rounds to hone their skills. They do however tend to use a personalised weapon. When they go into battle, they use the actual gun they have been practising with all this time. The reason being that guns can have minor differences in aim caused by manufacturing tolerances, scope mounts etc. The sniper will spend time zeroing in his/her weapon to their own specifications. They also tend to be set up for a particular range. What you wouldn’t expect them to do, is pick up a totally strange weapon and fire with the same accuracy.

So to win on a funfair shooter, you are going to have to do two things. The first is have more than one attempt. You will need at least one to sort the aim out.

Another major issue is that most people don’t actually know how to use the open sights on a rifle. Sure they watched all the war movies, and in their own minds they are all Carlos Hathcock, (A top US sniper in case you didn’t know, his life story can be found in this great article), but they really don’t know how to shoot. We can usually tell if a player knows how to handle a gun from his second shot. The first one might be off, but the following shots are usually on target.

Aiming Off

They do this by using a technique called aiming off. What you do is take a shot at the bullseye, or whatever the target is. You then pause to see where it has impacted. Lets say for a moment that the shot hit 5mm above where you aimed and 10mm to the right. What you would do on your following shots is aim off by the same amount, ie. aim 5mm lower and 10mm to the left. This should bring you back on target.

Using this will give you a reasonable amount of accuracy and vastly improve your chances of winning on shooting galleries.

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Event Planning, Fun Story, funfair events, Funfair Rides

Tales Of Misadventures, Helter Skelter Woe’s

28 March 2021

We are proud of our safety record in the funfair industry. Having never had a serious accident or incident with members of the public.

We have had a couple or three minor ‘incidents’ usually involving me, or Arthur (a one time collaborator) or in one case a poor sod we had shanghaied to work for us for the day. For some weird reason, they all involve helter skelters in some form. Perhaps subconsciously that’s why we got rid of our last example a few years back.

Fred Thompson’s Lighthouse Helter Skelter

My maternal Grandad, Fred, was one of the industries characters. He owned a massive amount of rides over the years, but also seemed to buy things like dodgems with no cars, only to sell the track and then buy a set of cars with no track. The helter skelter however he did own and operate right up to his death.

Not one of the smaller square latticework rides, this was the huge steel structured ride which was shaped like a lighthouse or pepper pot. Whilst Grandad was basically on his death bed, the famous Nottingham Goose fair rolled around. Due to some internal family politics, the offspring that usually took the ride to the fair refused to do so. So Uncle Garry, my dad, and by extension me were drafted in to set the ride up. None of us really knew what we were doing, but there were a couple of long time staff members helping, and another operator with the same type ride at the event, came and offered advice when we needed it.

The Great De-Rig

We managed to set up OK, and we ran the attraction for the three days of the fair. On the Sunday morning, we got up for the derig, only to be welcomed by a torrential down pour. Great, to compound matters the two staff members had done a runner, couldn’t blame them really. So it was left up to the deadly duo (Uncle Garry and Dad) and me.

Not fancying pneumonia, I had wrapped myself in a rubberised wet suit, and wellingtons. I had started in the top chute (the U shaped part of the ride that you actually slid down), undoing the bolts that held them together. You unfastened the twenty odd chutes then usually started at the top chute and took them down one at a time. Due to the water, I slipped into the chute and started to slide down. Because of the wet suit I couldn’t generate enough friction to stop my descent. Not a problem I could slide to the bottom and walk back up the steps so I just sat back and accelerated.

Which would have been OK, had not the other two started removing the chutes at the bottom and working their way up. The result was me imitating an Exocet missile exiting a launch tube as I shot off the number 7 chute, about 15 feet in the air. Luckily they had handily stacked all the other chutes in a nice row on the floor to break my fall.

After recovering from my high speed exit, I pulled myself together and climbed back up to try again. Now at this point, some poor innocent funfair enthusiast happened to walk past. Little did he know the fun he was going to be subject to. Looking back he was a bit like a Turkey strolling past Bernard Matthews just as he finished sharpening his knife.

“Oy Mate”, shouts Uncle Garry, “Fancy a job on the fair?” The poor sod did. Fifteen minutes into his new career he managed to fall down the steps at the front and break his arm. We packed him off the the local hospital, not expecting to see him again. Given that a&e was usually synonymous with about an eight hour wait.

He Comes Back

In the event he surprised us, as about forty minutes later he came back. Walked up the front steps into the centre of the ride, then holding his newly potted arm aloft like a badge of honour, perhaps Nottingham’s version of a purple heart, he shouted up, “Its me, I’m back!”

Now, this had an immediate and unfortunate effect. Uncle Gary and I were at that point taking side sections off the top of the ride. These were held on by massive bolts, think of something the size of a lemon. Gary had in his hand one of these very bolts, just as our unfortunate hero shouted up to us.

Garry turned quickly to see who it was, and unfortunately lost grip of the bolt he happened to be holding. With an aim worthy of William Tell, the bolt hit the guy slap bang in the centre of the forehead. Dropping him to his knees and producing a rather large egg shaped lump and a rather unfocussed look.

“Erm, listen guys”, he managed to croak feebly, “I think I am gonna resign, I don’t wanna work on the fair no more.” This time we didn’t see him again, can’t say I blame him really.

Some People Just Never Learn

Now, I swore this was enough to put me off helter skelters for life. So of course, a few years later, Rennie (another occasional collaborator) suggested purchasing a square type helter skelter that he knew of between us. It was a bit rough but we had the skills between us to rebuild it, and like the fabled lemmings, I hadn’t had any brushes with death for quite a while so I went for it.

We got it back to the yard, semi erected it and started on the multitude of jobs. One day I had climbed to the top and noticed that the bracket holding the highest section of steps on was cracked. Badly cracked, in fact it was held on by a sliver of paint. I thought to myself then that the next job should be to weld it back together. Just then, fate, in the form of my mother in law, turned up with a bacon sandwich and coffees for me and Renny. Being partial to a bacon sarny I shimmied down for breakfast.

After wolfing them down, and feeling recharged. I collected a large 8ft by 4ft wooden panel that needed affixing to the top of the ride and ran up the steps with it. As I stood on the topmost tread of the topmost section of steps, the malicious gods looking down decided that was the instant that the sliver of paint holding the steps on would finally expire.

Wooden Parachute

They say that in moments of extreme terror, your life flashes before your eyes. Truth be told this didn’t happen, but I do distinctly remember that time seemed to slow on the way down, as I plummeted earthwards holding a large sheet of wood above my head. My first thought was “Bugger, I should really have welded that bloody step up”, followed closely by “I bet this is gonna hurt”, followed by “This is taking some time,” followed by the sound of a person hitting the wooden floor, followed even more closely by the sound of a large wooden panel hitting a person, and almost simultaneously the sound of a section of steps hitting a wooden panel.

Suffice so say, I survived, a bit battered but without breaking anything important.

Arthur

The final entrant into our tale of woe, didn’t really involve the helter skelter, beyond the fact that I happened to be midway up the ride when the problem was brought to my attention.

We were at a corporate event in Salford. Renny ,Arthur and I with a range of attractions. Arthur, being afraid of heights tended to steer clear of the Helter Skelter, instead bagging the job of looking after the moonwalk. This was an inflatable attraction, that was enclosed in a dome. Arthur got himself comfortable on the front step, in front of the slit in the front that acted as a doorway. Because the dome had a high speed fan continuously blowing air in to keep the thing inflated, you tended to get a high speed stream of cold air blowing out the front. On perhaps the hottest day of that year this was a bonus for Arthur keeping him nicely chilled.

Glowing

Anyway, there I was half way up our slide, when Arthur wandered over and shouted up “My head hurts”, oh FFS, “Look in the glovebox of my car there are some headache tabets” I replied without really taking any notice, tricky things these big slides so I was paying attention to what I was doing.

“I didn’t say I had a F**KING headache”, said Arthur, “I said my F**KING head hurts!”

When I looked I could see his issue, “FFS Arthur don’t walk out the gate of the park”

“Why he asked?”

“Cos you will stop the traffic, you look like a set of traffic lights on red”

Dear me, his full forehead and face were glowing, and I mean glowing, like he had been stood a bit close to Chernobyl when it went up. I saw him about a week later when the skin had started peeling off and he looked like the singing detective. He ended up with scars on his forehead the sunburn had been that bad. Serve him right for lazing on the step all day.

It’s Not Just Us

Another operator I know of ended up with two broken legs, when one day he was at the top of his helter skelter painting it. He happened to glance upwards, where the clouds were moving due to a stiff breeze. Becoming disorientated, and believing it was the ride moving he threw himself over the side, in the belief that it was better than being inside the ride when it hit the ground.

And yet another guy, was at Yarm fair in the North East, and managed to fall from his ride landing on a street sign and breaking a number of ribs. Whilst in hospital he was laid in bed with his hand dangling over the side, when his visiting mother leaned over the bedside cabinet to give him a kiss. Unfortunately the cabinet was on wheels and being shoved against his hand managed to break three of his fingers.

Eventually the health and safety executive decreed that fall arrest equipment needed to be worn when working on these things at height. To give them their due most operators did both buy and use said kit. The one guy I know that put them to test still managed to break his ankles, when I enquired how, he explained the the standard fall arrestor worked by expanding and slowing you descent without too much of a jerk. Sadly it needed about twelve feet to work and he was only ten feet high when he fell, so he hit the deck before it arrested his fall. He seemed quite cheerful though and vowed that in future he would only fall off higher up.

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Fun Story

Sabine Schmitz, A Sad Goodbye

19 March 2021

One of the motorsport world’s characters, Sabine was that square peg in a round hole. A fabulous racing driver, with style, personality and ability, and also a woman. Which isn’t a sexist take, it is just a fact that motor sports tend to be predominantly male dominated. Though Sir Stirling Moss’s sister Pat, was evidently a rally driver of some renown in her day.

Known as the queen of the Nurburgring, and ‘The fastest taxi driver in the world’, she not only went around the track an estimated 20,000 times, she actually won the 24 Hours Nürburgring twice, in 1996 and 97.

Hollow Legs

We met her on our first ever mobile bar job. A long time client had rang to ask if we knew any bar companies as they had a major bar job for a party being held by Sony and Nissan. Turns out that the top drivers in a video game released by Sony Corporation were being trained as drivers in a touring car series sponsored by Nissan. The winners had been announced and a party was being held for them.

We did our usual trick of stating that we have been doing bars for absolutely ages, when do you want it for? Turns out we ended up being given 7 days to design and build a mobile bar system, train the staff up and provide the service.

Like so many times before, my significant other told me I was bat shit crazy, there was no way we would get away with it. And like so many times before, we pulled it off a treat.

Sabine was one of the guests there, and boy could that girl drink. I was popping her Jager bombs all night, and at one stage I remember her piloting a segway around the room. In fact she ran another driver over. I thought it was Martin Brundle, but another member of staff insists it was Johnny Herbert. Whichever she flattened them good style.

By the end of the night, she was coming up with that smile and asking what we had left. ‘Erm, rum, gin and lucozade.”

“Yes Please”

“Which one Ms Schmitz?”

“All off dem!”

Gee she must have had hollow legs, I think she was the last one standing at the party.

RIP Sabine Schmitz

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