Crazy & Co.

The Customer Is Always Right

17 May 2020

But Boy Sometimes You Want To Slap Them

The majority of our enquiries come through our various website’s. We are happy for potential clients to ring us, but email is easier, as when they put all the details down we can work out a price and get a quote to them quickly and efficiently.

But sometimes you get some clients contact you, and you end up thinking “I just don’t need their money this badly”.

A couple stick in mind. The first an enquiry from a lady who wanted to potentially hire a Flying Frogs Ride. The initial enquiry was as follows on our website;

Website Enquiry

Name Jane Doe (not really but we are keeping her details anonomous)

Telephone No 01234 567890

Email someone@gmail.com

Date Of Event 1st June 2012

Requirements I would like to hire a jumping frogs ride.

Venue My House

Now, most of the details are here. But, to give an accurate price, I need to work out where our equipment is going to. The venue of my house narrows it down to approximately 25 million possibilities. However she could be in Europe or anywhere.

I emailed back to tell her I needed her to be more specific about where the event was taking place. Her answer;

In a field at the bottom of the drive outside my house.

That is I suppose more specific, but of no real help. So I politely emailed back to her, informing her that as I didn’t know her personally I had no idea where her house was, and could she enlighten me.

The answer?

Next Door To My Mams!

At that point I gave up.

The second was a guy who rang to hire a burger van. Now, because of the amount of people who wanted to hire an empty catering unit for their own use, we actually used to have it state on our contact page that we don’t hire empty units out for anyone else to use. The customer would understand this surely?

Telephone Enquiry

The phone conversation went like this.

Caller “Hello, I know you don’t hire empty burger vans out for other people to use, but could you give me a price on an empty burger van?”

Me “Sprichst du Deutsch?”

Caller “You what”

Me ” Et le Francais?”

Caller “I dont understand”

Me “misschien ben je nederlands?”

Caller “Listen mate why are you speaking foreign languages to me?”

Me “Because I am trying to figure out what language you speak”

Caller “Well I speak English don’t I”

Me “Do you, so what part of we don’t hire empty burger vans out for people to use are you struggling with?”

Caller “Well I just thought you might hire one out to me!”

Me “Oh I do apologise, I didn’t realise you were the Duke of Kent”

Caller “Eh, I’m not am I”

Me “Well in that case we can’t help you.”

Now when they ring up for something similar I find it easier to give them a hire price, then inform them that there is a £35,000 cash deposit required to cover damage. That usually shuts the combination down pretty quickly.

So as they say, ‘The customer is always right’ but jeez.

Showmen, Covid and The NHS

3 May 2020

Showmen Thank The NHS. Like many business’s at the minute, the funfair industry has pretty much ceased to exist. With events cancelled up until the middle of the summer and beyond. Indeed some Christmas events are now being cancelled, we are not sure when we will be allowed to operate again.

The common opinion is that it will be next year before events start to come out of the lockdown. We can’t see all the sacrifices made during the lockdown period being swept aside by letting major festivals go ahead. And rightly so. The important thing at the minute is saving lives, hard as it sounds, business will need to take a back seat.

Showmen are an enterprising breed, many have rapidly started small food delivery business’s to keep some income rolling in. There must be a massive market in home delivered fruit and veg. If the amount of showmen who have turned greengrocer is any indication.

Saying Thank You

The showmen however, in the midst of seeing their livelihoods disappear, and with no real idea when they will be allowed to work again, have found time to say thank you to our heroic front line NHS staff and key workers.

We have all stood and clapped to let them know how we feel, but around the country, groups of showmen have raised funds to show their appreciation in a practical way.

Many hospitals put calls out for toiletries and such like. As patients were ending up on Corvid wards, with no supplies. Because of the current visiting rules, their families couldn’t come to see them and bring what they needed.

In short order groups of showmen have raised not inconsiderable sums to purchase toiletries, bottled water, things like pot noodles and other snacks to help alleviate the hospitals shortage.

Showmen’s Guild

In my native North East, the funfair trade body made a donation to start the ball rolling. A number of showmen also took it upon themselves to raise funds.

One member donated a vehicle to be used for delivering the items. Another who runs a small sign making business, lettered the vehicle up free of charge.

They made delivery runs to a number of Northern hospitals. Other showmen added to this and covered smaller centres such as care homes.

I have touched upon the Northern Section of the industry, purely because I come from the area. But the same thing has taken place in most parts of the UK. North East local press reported on the story.

It just goes to show, “There is no business like show business”, and the Showmen thank the NHS to show their appreciation.

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Catering, Fun Story

Environmentally Friendly Catering

20 April 2020

About 15 years ago I had the bright idea of switching to environmentally friendly catering. In fact we decided to switch not only our catering operations, but our travelling funfairs to a more sustainable method of operating.

We made some great advances on this front. Had a bit of attention from the press and even received a couple of environmental awards. Things seemed rosy and I felt I had made a good decision. But then a pattern started to emerge. We would quote for jobs, and explain all about how we were doing our bit for the environment. But we received a lot of replies along the lines of, ‘We really love what you are doing, unfortunately the non environmentally friendly companies are cheaper then you so we are going with them!’

For a time it looked like we could be the most environmentally friendly bankrupt funfair company. So sadly we had to dial down on what we were doing.

We feel now is the time to relaunch our initiative. Biodegradable consumables made from bamboo, paper and plant based products are becoming ever more affordable. Things like LED lighting are being mass produced to the stage they are getting cheaper than traditional alternatives. And many of our customers are starting to make environmental credentials an important part of their purchasing process.

To this end we are ramping up our green credentials. Well we going to if we ever get released from this bloody lockdown.

I’ll try and summarise our intentions, along with how we compare to where we were 15 years ago.

Paper Usage

Looking at our environmental statement from years back, we were going through some 20000 sheets of office paper a year. Over the course of 12 months, we had managed to reduce this to 15000. Our intention was to get it down to 5000 a year. This has been an easy win. Most of our clients are now happy to accept pdf versions of our safety document packs. We average less than 1000 sheets of office paper per annum.

This will no doubt help keep enough paper stocks available for the toilet roll industry to keep up with the current demand from the deranged panic buyers.

Catering Consumables

Last time we tried switching to greener alternatives, coffee cups weren’t too bad, but everything else was prohibitively expensive.

Nowadays there is a vastly improved choice. For many items such as doughnuts and churros we use bamboo boats. For larger items like jacket potatoes, we have found a good range of boxes and plates made from sugarcane bagasse . Bagasse is a residue from sugar cane production. Products derived from it include biofuel, wood substitute and now catering items. It looks very much like polystyrene but is fully biodegradable.

Knives, forks and spoons have been switched to wood. And a few of the items such as waffles on a stick are served in paper trays. In all I don’t think we have anything left being served in plastic.

Food Waste Composting

Its fine having environmentally friendly catering products, but there is another issue. Food waste. Any event we attend there is always some level of waste food. Whether its guests not quite finishing their servings, or the fact that we have cooked a few too many hot dogs. In the past this will all have ended up in landfill.

Last time we went down this route, we acquired a Swedish hot composting system. You would feed it with waste food, and a mixture of dry wood pellets. Then give it a good spin to mix it. Bacteria would slowly heat the mixture up and consume the food and waste to leave a rich compost, ideal for the garden.

Sadly our original composter was destroyed, (someone ran over it) and never replaced.

We are now looking at adding something to replace this to ensure we can remove our small amount of food waste from the landfill system. One system that does look promising is the HotBin compost system. Like our old Swedish system, you add food waste and in this case shredded paper. The system again raises the heat to allow microbial action to reduce everything to a separate mix of solid compost and liquid leachate (which makes a great liquid fertiliser). We are still looking at system, but as soon as this virus pandemic ends we will place an order for a system of some kind.

Biofuels For Our Generators

This is one avenue were we have had to admit defeat. What we discovered was that the newer generating plant we had didn’t like 100% biodiesel. Some of the older stuff would run happily on it, though we had to change many of the rubber fuel lines. The trouble is, the newer kit is both less polluting to begin with, and also far more fuel efficient. So it didn’t make sense to swap the latest kit back to stuff that was 20 years out of date.

Because of the transitory nature of funfairs, there isn’t really any scope to make use of renewable power. The one exception perhaps is the classic helter skelter. Because it is powered by gravity, it can operate without a power source, needing just power for lighting. Before we disposed of ours, I had drawn up plans to use a combination of a solar powered battery charger and small wind turbine to constantly charge a battery pack, and then use an inverter to power LED lighting throughout the ride. I still think this would work.

Lighting

This is one avenue that is actually coming of age. LED lighting prices are now falling to the extent where they are only a smallish premium over incandescent lighting. Additionally LED lights take far less power to run, with the result that either smaller more fuel efficient generators can be used to power them, or the larger generators are working less and saving fuel. With the chancellors decision to remove the tax rebate on red diesel (used to power generators) its now reached the stage where its a no brainer to make the switch. The fuel savings alone will pay the costs back pretty quickly. And technically LED should last far longer than a traditional light bulb.

Certification

To ensure that we can communicate the extent of our green push to our clients we are looking at a number of certification systems which would officially show our work. In the past we were part of a few different initiatives, but these petered out over time.

In summary offering environmentally friendly catering is something that is fast becoming a must, rather than an optional extra.

If you fancy hot dog cart hire or any of our offerings with an environmentally friendly service then get in touch.

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Fun Story, Photo Booths

The Duke, Our Wild West Photo Booth

8 April 2020

We have a number of specialised photo booths, London taxi cabs, a classic Mini Cooper, Indian Tuk Tuk. Well now we have a wild west photo booth

When looking for new lines we hit upon the idea of a Wild West photo booth. We looked at various saloon bars, a teepee, but decided that the most classic wild west ‘vehicle’ had to be the Concord stagecoach. Just like John Wayne in the classic film.

Luckily, we have a member of staff that happens to be a whizz, with wood. So, after some research, and finding some stagecoach plans (albeit for a model coach), we managed to create a workable blueprint.

The Build

When we started, in fairness, we didn’t actually realise the amount of work we were letting ourselves in for. But the initial body shaping looked spot on, and kept us reassured we were on the right track.

The initial body shape came together well, because the body curves in 2 planes, it was difficult to shape, but after some intensive work, we got it together into the basic body.

Adding The Detail to the Doors and windows.

Coat Of Stain, And Trying The Wheels For Size

Adding The Drivers Seat And Footboard

This about finished the body, other than the interior. We didi think that was the bulk of the work done, until we actually started assembling the chassis.

Assembled, Now Adding Some Of The Metalwork

The Chassis was actually quite complicated, as we tried to follow the real things metalwork, with a working handbrake, and the correct slings and fittings.

Almost The Finished Item. Body Mounted, Much Of The Steel Work Fitted.

All in all it was a long complicated build, but it has given us a totally unique photo booth, perfect for those wild west events.

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Fun Story

Coronavirus Diary 4th April

4 April 2020

Well, a week after my release from hospital and another entry in my Coronavirus Diary. I am walking a 4-5 mile course every day. The 2 stone I lost inside wouldn’t have been too bad if a lot of it hadn’t come off my arms and legs. So to build them back up I dusted off my kettlebell weight. The only one I have at home is 16kg so its good for a decent workout, and I am feeling pretty good so no problem. Ha, I only managed to get half way before I felt absolutely knackered. And my arms and legs feel like they belong to someone else this morning.

A lot of the fairground industry is starting to go into panic mode. Initially they thought this was going to be a two or three month break, but now I think we are all realising that we may end up writing this season off. The government has just cancelled the major climate change conference in November, so they aren’t too confident that things will be back to normal by then.

They say necessity is the mother of invention. An awful lot of the showmen I know seem to have turned into fruit and veg salesman, with a multitude of home delivery options on offer. Good luck to them.

Poor Premiership Stars

I see the players football association is suggesting the premier league stars take a 30% pay cut. The poor darlings, the average wage is £3 million a year, how an earth will they manage on only £2 million per annum. Perhaps we should start a gofund me page to help them out.

The major clubs have furloughed their support staff, because obviously all of them together will add up to perhaps the left backs salary so its a big saving. The next step will be them asking for a government handout to enable them to keep paying their stars mega salaries.

When I was a kid my dentist was actually an ex professional footballer. He had played for Newcastle United, and was wanted by Manchester United. He instead chose to go to Darlington. When I asked why you would choose them over Man U, his reply was, “At the time I could earn more as a dentist, than I could as a football player, Darlington offered to let me continue my dentistry as well as playing football. Man U insisted I stopped being a dentist, and with a family to look after I couldn’t afford to do that.”

How things have changed.

Its A Conspiracy

I tend to use Facebook for my business pages, its another business tool. With the lockdown I have to admit I am using it more from a personal perspective. One of the things which really tickle me is the prevalence of conspiracy theories. It turns out there isn’t actually a virus after all, its 5G transmitters that are causing people to have viral symptoms. Its the fault of the Illuminati and the Masons who are ushering in the new world order.

People are calling on their comrades to get ready for the fightback. Well, any organisation that can successfully have every health care professionals, not only in the UK, but the rest of the planet, all toe the line and lie that its a virus, well, do you really think power like that can be challenged?

Personally I know its not 5G, its pod people from Mars. That’s why Boris isn’t appearing on TV, his symptoms was the first stage of his body being taken over by a pod person. When he appears again he will be fully assimilated. Bit like the Borg really.

Though my wife has a novel theory. She claims that I am the cause of the coronavirus pandemic. Allegedly I am trying to keep my daughters boyfriend away. I will keep you informed on how well this worldwide plan works in a future update to our Coronavirus Diary .

American Pirates

I see in the news that America has been accused of piracy. It seem Trump has invoked a Korean war era directive to prevent companies like 3M exporting face masks to the rest of the world. Their entire production is now being ring-fenced for the States. Whilst I can understand the outrage of other countries that were expecting deliveries from them. Can you really condemn Trump for looking after his own people first. Imagine the scenario of Europe recovering with the aid of millions of 3M masks. Whilst Americans die due to a lack of them. In all honesty I would hope our government would make the same call in that situation.

Hopefully some more Coronavirus Diary to come soon.

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