I sometimes think that half of the funfair rides manufactured around the world are built by Italian companies. Todays quick profile is based on the Treviso based company of Bertazzon 3B.
Started by three brothers Luigi, Ferruccio and Marcello Bertazzon in 1951. They quickly moved into producing dodgem tracks and go-karts.
By 1963 the company was formally established, as Bertazzon 3B (for 3 brothers).
Modern Production
The company now is a major player in the ride production world, with Carousels, dodgems, dark rides, the Matterhorn, flying chairs and rail rides amongst others.
The company is, to use a modern buzz word, vertically integrated. All this means is that they pretty much produce everything they need in house. Some small stuff such as galvanising is done by outside contractors, but pretty much everything else they design and build themselves.
MatterhornCarouselBertazzon RideWave Swinger
Dodgem Cars
One thing that Bertazzon do seem to stand out for is the breadth of dodgem cars they produce. Not just a couple of different styles with a range of paint jobs, they have some pretty unique stuff available, and seem open to the idea of building custom cars for clients.
Classic-BertazzonDodgem Car BertazzonItalian Bumper CarOld Time BertazzonTaxi Dodgem CarsAnimal Dodgem CarBERTAZZON 3B Dodgem Car
They also produce a ‘drifting’ car, which as the name suggests drifts like a rally car when a button is pressed.
Most of our equipment is powered by electricity. Many items such as the funfair rides can’t connect to a standard household supply, and require generators to run them.
Generators tend to run from diesel fuel. There are a handful of smaller ones that run from LPG tanks, and occasionally a petrol powered example. But by and large diesel is the fuel of choice.
Unfortunately when you have generators containing diesel, and quite possibly additional diesel in storage drums, there is the potential for spillage. When diesel spills it spreads, a lot. A couple of litres can cover a wide area depending on the surface type.
Spill Kits
To insure against the risks of spillages, we have just added spill clean up kits to all of our generators, and a couple of portable units for use with contracted in suppliers.
Fuel Spill Clean Up Kit
A selection of products are contained, starting with plug and dike putty which is designed to harden on contact with fuel to plug the leaks. A selection of absorbent socks to dam fuel from flowing into drains or watercourses. Absorbent granules and pads to soak up the spill. and a spray containing bacteria that converts oil or fuel into CO2 and sugar to clean the traces of the spill up.
Oh and handy plastic gloves and refuse sacks to keep you clean whilst you dispose of everything. And a handy instruction sheet to allow anyone to use the kit.
Spill Kit Instructions
Oh and just in case you are wondering, about step one referring to Fred Miller. Well, he is one of the team who is possessed by the spirit of Frank Spencer of Some Mothers Do Have Em fame. If we ever have a major diesel spill, Fred will be involved somehow. He will have tripped and pulled a pipe off, or pressed the wrong button or something.
Many of the funfairs around the world have a long and storied history. Some started as feast days, other ‘hirings’ where able bodied men presented themselves for potential work.
Today’s post is the world famous Hamburg Dom, which dates from the 11th Century. The whole shebang started when the old Mariendom cathedral was used as a shelter by the local merchants and entertainers. This was a tradition which lasted centuries, until the cathedral was demolished in 1804.
The merchants remained ‘homeless’ until 1893 when a new location was found for them in the Heiligengeistfeld event space in St Pauli district.
The name Dom is the only link to the days in the old Cathedral or ‘Dom’ in German.
Hamburg Dom Fair
Originally a winter market was held on the site. In the 30’s a spring market was added to help ease local merchants through the economic crisis. Post World War 2 a summer market was introduced as well.
Nowadays Hamburg DOM is the largest fair in Northern Germany and the longest running in the country with three seperate 30 day events. Like many modern events the fair is primarily a fun fair with a huge selection of modern rides, games and food outlets, over 200 in all, definitely putting up around the top of the major European events.
Modern Attractions At Hamburg
The events have a tradition that Wednesday’s are family days, where special rates are on offer for kids. Every Friday night they offer hugh firework displays.
The summer DOM hosts rainbow day, to coincide with Pride week, including a separate parade through the fairground.
Hamburg Food
Like many European fairs, food is a big part. Hamburg being known for Schmalzkuchen, it’s famous fried bite sized doughnuts, also roast almonds, currywurst and sauerkraut.
Over 60 stalls serving these treats along with the usual fare of coffee, candy floss etc. Oh, and one major difference between the UK and European funfairs, is that they tend to serve beer, mulled wine and other alcoholic beverages.
Another of our quick look at major fairs, a little different this time as it is in the Netherlands. Dating back to 1570, the Tilburg Kermis is the largest fair in the Benelux region, attracting over a million visitors annually which makes it big by any standard.
Playing host to upto 250 attractions spread over a 4.5km city centre site Tilburg is held around the third week in July. Like many fairs in the UK, it started as a market, being held to honour Tilburg’s patron saint. Unlike many UK based events though, the local community and businesses play an active part in the event. With local pubs and restaurants staging music events, large scale DJ sets and themed evenings. A stark contrast to the UK based scene, where many local businesses close for the duration of the fair.
Tilburg Fair
Pink Monday
One of the most popular days of the fair, is Pink monday (Rose Maandag). Celebrating lgbt values, it brings gays and lesbians from across Europe, with many of the attractions sporting pink decor for the day. Attracting over 350,000 visitors this is a definite boost for the event. The slogan for the day is “Be Gay For A Day”
Pink Monday SloganPink Is The Colour
The event even has it’s own radio station. Kermis FM, offering a mix of information about the event, traffic data and kermis style music.
The final day of the Tilburg Kermis sees a massive procession towards the pius harbour. Culminating in a 15 minute firework display.
Another of our looks at some of the major funfair events throughout the UK. One of three fairs to carry the name ‘Goose Fair’. nottingham is the largest. The others being in Tavistock and Colyford East Devon.
History dates the event back to a royal charter in 1284 granted by King Edward I. Though fairs in Nottingham were thought to predate this. Originally taking place in September, it was moved to an October date in 1752 when the Gregorian calendar was adopted.
It has taken place every year since then, save for 1646 when an outbreak of the bubonic plague stopped it, the two World wars, and obviously 2020 when the covid pandemic struck.
Early History
The creation of fairs by royal charter was a common occurrence in the twelfth and thirteenth centuries. King Henry II had granted a charter for an annual Martinmas fair in Lenton Priory in November. This gave prominence to that event and prevented other fairs from competing with it. The 1284 charter giving Nottingham it’s own fair saw the event grow in size and prestige.
Records first mention the Goose Fair name in 1541, where it is referred to in borough records as ‘goosey fair day.’ The name comes from the thousands of geese driven from Lincolnshire, Norfolk and Cambridgeshire to be sold in Nottingham. Like many fairs it started as a trade fair, for the sale of livestock, geese and most famously its high quality cheese. At this time it was based in the Old Market Square.
Entertainment
In common with other events of the nature, side shows and other entertainment was added to the event, gradually diminishing the trade element. As shops evolved and transport links increased, annual events like this were no longer a necessity to stock up the larder. The dawn of steam and mechanisation saw rides being added to the event. The traditional carousels, switchbacks, gondola rides and animal manageries gradually increasing in mumber.
Nottingham Goose Fair
As the event spread out it overwhelmed the market square and began to cause problems with congestion, not helped by the increase in traffic through the town centre. The decision as taken to move the event in 1928 to the Forest Recreation ground. A move resisted by the showmen, but in the event proving ideal, being twice the size of the market square.
Modern History
Held annually on the recreation ground for five days, it boasts over five hundred attractions. Everything from traditional carousels to the latest white knuckle thrill attractions.
The roundabout on the approach to the fair is notable for its giant fibreglass goose called ‘Goosey’ which appears in the run up to the fair taking place. The Lord Mayor opens the event with the ringing of a pair of silver bells. Still a massively popular event attracting over 500,000 visitors annually the fair has an excellent record as regards safety and trouble happening.
A Ferris wheel is one of those iconic funfair rides that everyone remembers. They not only make regular appearances at funfairs up and down the country, but you can also hire them for private events. Here are 6 tips for hiring a Ferris wheel to make sure you get the best for your money.
1 What Size Wheel
There are two basic wheels you will see in the UK. What we tend to term a traditional wheel, which in actual fact is more than likely to be American in origin, more specifically from the Eli Bridge company of Jacksonville Illinois.
This is the type of wheel that was in the final scene of Grease, the movie. They are also what you most probably rode as a child, and they are what is usually hired for private events.
Ferris Wheel Hire
The other big wheel type, is big, really big. They have been christened Continental Wheels in the UK, but are generally referred to as giant wheels on the continent. They come in a multitude of sizes, the travelling models tending to be 50-60 metres in height, with some fixed models of 100m up over. These can be hired privately, however keep in mind that a typical 50m wheel would come on 5-6 trailers, with each one being towed by a vehicle averaging perhaps 6-7 MPG. They would take a number of days to set up and similar to take back down, using a crew of perhaps 6-8 staff members. So unless you are Elon Musk or the likes, you aren’t going to hire one for a 5 year olds birthday party in your back garden.
Giant Continental Wheel
2 Where Will The Wheel Be Built
We will proceed under the assumption that you aren’t Elon Musk and wish to hire the smaller Eli Bridge type wheel. For the other type, much of what we advise is equally valid, but you would need a specialist survey to ensure the ground can take the weight and stress of a true giant wheel.
Ideally a perfectly flat tarmac or concrete surface such as a car park is what we like for a wheel. Realistically, this isn’t always possible. Grass is fine, as long as it isn’t too soft. This is more for the vehicles carrying the ride rather than an issue with the ride. A wheel is a stable structure, well balanced and with large outriggers to prevent it tilting. Getting it into position on extremely soft ground is where the problems arrive. We carry wooden boards to drive on across soft ground, and if you need us 50 or 60ft across a field its not an issue. If you want us half a mile across a swamp it isn’t going to happen.
Access
The other issue people seem to be oblivious to, is actually having an entrance large enough to drive the ride through. We have turned up on site visits many a time, to find out that although there is a 300 acre field available, the only access is through a gate 4ft wide, or around a sharp bend that you would be lucky to manage with a classic mini without a couple of shunts. Imagine the large vehicles you see on the motorway, then widen it a foot and add perhaps 10ft on the end. That will give you an idea of how long a typical ride is.
If in doubt ask about a site visit. There may be a small charge, but a decent operator will waive this if you end up booking.
3 Ensure It Carries The Correct Documentation
Thankfully, with the funfair industry being so highly regulated, the cowboys have pretty much been forced out. But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still undertake due diligence when hiring attractions. Circumstances can conspire to create a situation where someone may cut corners, be it down to greed, or desperation. The best way to ensure your safety, is to make sure your chosen operator can actually supply a full set of safety documentation. The following list are all legally required documents, if they can’t provide any of them, run away, quickly:
Public Liability Insurance (Self Explanatory)
Risk Assessments (To how the ride has been assessed to ascertain what risks exist)
Fire Assessments (Like the Risk assessment, but looking for fire based issues)
Method Statements (A document showing what has been put in place to mitigate the risks identified)
ADIPS Certificate (Much like an MOT, showing the ride has been tested by an independent engineer for safety)
Daily Inspection Record (To show that each day the ride is operated it has been checked by the operator)
Adips
One the mentioned documents, the ADIPS cert bears a little more explaining. Each ride has to undergo an annual inspection to ensure it is safe to operate. This includes electrical and mechanical safety, and may well include non destructive testing such as x-rays or dye penetration inspections to check for metal fatigue and cracking. A certificate is issued once the ride is passed as safe. This has all the relevant information about the ride. It also has two important things to look out for. One is the ADIPS inspection number, If you visit their website, you can actually input this number to ensure the document is correct and up to date.
The other is the photograph in the top right hand of the document. This should match the ride you have hired. If it doesn’t it could mean that the ride you have hired isn’t covered by that document. A big no no.
Adip 2021
Above is an example of what the DOC looks like, you can see the image in the top right hand corner, directly below this image will be the DOC number.
4 Ask For Photos Of What You Are Hiring
There are some absolutely immaculate wheels on the hire market. There are sadly a few poor examples, and the majority are comfortably in the middle, quite presentable rather than exceptional.
You are certainly entitled to ask for a photo of what the operator is proposing to hire to you. Beware of tiny thumbnails that show no details, and ask for how old the photos are. Something immaculate 20 years ago could look very different now.
Any professional operator wants his client to be happy. A successful job isn’t just one where they earn money, its one where the client is happy and will use them again.
pexels wendelin jacober-1411445 (1)
Take a look at the wheel above, this can quite accurately be described to you as one hot wheel without telling any lies. Thing is, it’s hot, not because it’s a fabulous wheel, but because it was in the vicinity of Chernobyl when the nuclear reactor exploded. So don’t trust to descriptions alone, unless it is someone you have worked with before and trust.
5 Ensure The Quote You Have Includes Everything
Although we haven’t really heard of it happening with wheels. A favourite tactic of one competitor when offering dodgems for hire, was to quote a price roughly halve of everyone else’s. When your ride turned up, it didn’t have lights or music. There was no top cover so it wouldn’t work it it rained, and you only got 4 cars. They would inform you that the ride supplied was exactly what you had paid for. If you wanted all the additional extras and the more usual 14 cars, then they were extra. Your choice at that point was to pay what could end up being more than you had been quoted from other operators for the same service, or put up with half a ride.
Most companies quote within a narrow price band. If something is exceptionally cheap it is for a reason, and not usually a good one.
Another Cowboy
Another cowboy we came across had an ingenious scheme. He would quote a price about 40% less than anyone else. To secure it you had to pay an immediate £500 NON REFUNDABLE deposit. The day before your event, you would receive a phone call informing you that sadly, the ride you had booked had been destroyed by fire/stolen/kidnapped by space aliens. But not to worry, they had a couple of children’s roundabouts they could bring you. When you complained the event wasn’t for kids and you were cancelling, they were happy to let you do that. Of course the deposit was non refundable.
Cowboy Operator
Is it legal? Hmm, probably not, getting you money back by going to court probably outweighs the £500. If you give the guy too much hassle he had the option of refunding your money to stop the case. He kept far more than he lost though.
6 If You Have Any Unusual Requirements, Agree Them Beforehand
Do you want only Max Bygraves records playing on the ride. Or the lights switched off for some reason. Perhaps you want your pet donkey to be allowed to ride. Talk the to supplier and make sure this is possible, before the day of the event. It isn’t fair complaining that they had none of Mr Bygraves songs to play, if they were totally unaware that you were a fan.
Most reasonable requests we are happy to comply with. We enjoy a bit of fun, and want you to be happy. (Not sure about letting the donkey ride though). But be aware of the fact that we will not, compromise safety to please you. No amount of offering to sign waivers will make any difference, (and for the record, judges tend not to view the practice very kindly, their take is that the fact we had a waiver signed meant we knew it was unsafe to do), we want the job, and we want you to be happy with it, but not at the risk of hurting or killing someone.
If you want any more info on the ins and outs of hiring a Ferris wheel, drop us an email, or pick the phone up, we are quite happy to talk to you about it without obligation.
One thing that the funfair industry is very poor at, is PR. Possibly because we tend to keep outsiders at arms length, many people have very little idea of how the industry works. Often we are regarded as gypsies (we are not, they are a totally separate ethnic/cultural group), there is this idea that funfairs just roll up willy nilly and set up on a piece of land they have no right to. That rides are thrown together by semi literate knuckle grabbing high school drop outs who have no idea what they are doing. So in an effort to spread a little fact, to counter some of the common fiction, we are going to answer some common funfair questions. If you have any others add them in the comment section and we will answer them for you.
1.2 Risks to the public at fairs and amusement parks have proved to be quite small, on average, despite common perceptions to the contrary. For example, the risk of death from a typical session is estimated, on a pessimistic basis, at 1 in 83 million, which is: a) about one twelfth that from a typical walk to get to the site;
Lets compare that 1 in 83 million figure.
Your risks of dying from the following pursuits;
Car Accident – 1 in 200
Train Crash – 1 in 65,000
Shark Attack – 1 in 3.7 million
Plane Crash – 1 in 7.6 million
Struck by Lightning – 1 in 14 million
So does this mean that the experience is totally risk free. Sadly not. Modern rides are high speed complex pieces of machinery subject to immense stress and high G forces. Modern computerised design and testing systems mean that much of the dangers have been designed out. However over time, metal corrodes and weakens, systems can fail. So how is this counteracted.
ADIPS
The ADIPS scheme requires a comprehensive safety test every year for each piece of equipment. This covers electrical and mechanical safety, as well as non destructive testing such as x-rays or dye penetration to check for cracks and metal fatigue. Rides are also required to have a daily check scheme in place which is recorded every day.
The weakest link, as always, are humans. Checks rely on the operator carrying them out and taking action on faults that are found. Most rides are operated by the families that own them, so the incentive to carry these out correctly is not only possible large fines and/or jail, but also the massive loss of income if they are closed down.
The Human Factor
The one factor we don’t have control over, are the actions of our customers, more humans. In my 50 years on the funfair I have only ever been at a fair once where someone was sadly killed. What happened was that a young man climbed over a 6ft high safety rail to go and push his friends on a ride called the swinging gyms. Basically a box containing 4 of his friends, you rock the box back and forth to gradually gain height and go over the top.
He ran to give them a push, tripped and landed on the bottom of the ride, as the box came down it crushed him. Totally tragic, and totally avoidable by the poor victim. But it is hard to see what more the operator could have been expected to do.
Swinging Gym funfair ride
Similarly we regularly have arguments on rides with minimum height limits. Parents want their offspring to go on the ride but they are not tall enough. Enraged they demand that they are allowed on because the parent knows best and evidently wants to willingly put their little darlings at risk!
2 Do They Carry Insurance?
Yes, two types. The first covers the actual equipment for damage or loss from theft/fire/accident. A typical modern ride easily costs in the mid six figure bracket. A few examples are in the millions bracket, so it isn’t feasible to chance losing investments on this level.
The other is public liability insurance, covering the riders and members of public. Most rides have two policies, the first carries £1 million cover. We than pay into a trade organisation fund which adds an additional £10 million to this.
Most local authorities require a minimum of £5 million, so our industry is well in excess of what is required.
Insurance Policy
3 Do Fairgrounds Just Set Up Anywhere?
Another really popular misconception. We have set up in high streets in the past, only to have a local resident actually call the council to ‘make them aware’ that the high street is ‘under occupation’ by the fair folk.
At the minute (2021) things are still a little strange what with Covid and all. Normally, on January 1st, we could usually list the dates and locations of all our events for that year. Indeed some like Nottingham Goose Fair, have been operating for hundreds of years.
Look, a large funfair is a major logistical exercise. To move dozens of ultra large vehicles around the country to set up an event easily costs tens of thousands of pounds. Realistically, is anyone going to throw that kind of money about in the hope that when they set up the council and police will allow them to stay. An expensive mistake if they don’t.
Additionally the event needs to be advertised, additional logistics like filling generator fuel tanks, or providing a suitable locations for the living quarters all need to be arranged.
Take a look at the picture below, there is no way something like that can just be randomly thrown together, that is planned months in advance.
Newcastle Hoppings Funfair
4 Why Are Fairground Workers Covered In Tattoos And Have No Teeth?
Lol, I just love some of the funfair questions we are subject to. The funfair community is an incredibly close knit one. Most of us either know each other, or at the very least are only a couple of steps away from knowing each other.
I know of only one ‘funfair operator’ who has tattoos. A really nice lad, he wasn’t actually brought up on the fairground but married into it. That’s it. Tattoos just aren’t considered a socially acceptable thing within the industry.
‘Ah’, I hear you cry, Mark off the waltzers who I was snogging has them. Well, yep, Mark probably does. Thing is, Mark is a local lad that has been employed casually to help out at your local fair. Next week he will go back to being unemployed Mark.
We don’t have a particular problem with the practise, it’s just not one we engage with as a rule.
A noted exception has to be mentioned though, a few generations ago, when times were particularly hard, one lady struggling to feed her kids, actually had her entire body, sans her neck face and hands, tattooed. She went on to appear as the main exhibit in her own sideshow.
Artoria Gibbons
The pain must have been incredible, they were a hardy breed back then.
Regarding the teeth thing, we actually do visit dentists, and I can’t honestly say that funfair dentition is any different to non funfair dentition.
5 Do You Have Things Like Running Water And Electricity?
Out of the many funfair questions we get asked, these ones really do bug us. No we eat cold food, don’t wash and go to bed when it gets dark. Or at least some seem to believe so. Pictured below is the interior of a modern caravan. Fully furnished and connected to electricity, gas and running water. Oh, and flushing toilets, probably the same make as in your house.
Gas, it probably slightly different as we tend to use bottled gas or LPG, rather than a fixed connection, which tends to be difficult with all the moving about and such.
Storage space tends to be built into sofa’s and various nooks and crannys as well as the cupboards and wardrobes. The end result is quite often more room and storage available than a typical modern house. Most caravan’s have entire sections that slide out to make the actual home much bigger than it is when being transported by road.
I remember a few years back in Holland, actually seeing a double deck caravan, IE it had a top floor, though that doesn’t seemed to have made it to these shores yet.
Caravan Interior
If there are any others you know of leave a comment and we will add to the answers.
When I was learning to fly, there was another student I saw regularly called . A young girl mid way through her course. Occasionally she would turn up for a quick coffee in the pilots lounge with her young son in tow. He would do what most kids did, stick his earphones in and play on a game system.
Talking to her she eventually told me that her son was autistic. She said that up to the age of about 5 he had never spoke a word and she was resigned to him not speaking. Then one day, she said, I was really struggling, and I looked up to the sky and shouted please god help me. She said my son looked at me and said god can’t help you mummy he’s dead!
What a shock, turns out he had a full vocabulary and had just chose not to talk. Truth be told he seems a pretty normal kid, if you ask him something he will answer you, he doesn’t seem particularly like he wants to engage with you, but then I don’t think that’s much different to most kids that age.
I do know that there are different levels of autism and some kids function much higher than others. I think the problem is that the film Rainman, skewed the way a lot view the condition. Everyone expects them to have some savant level of genius. We used to do a job in a little shopping arcade in London, one of the shops was an art gallery for a guy called Stephen Wiltshire. It seems he can spend a few minutes looking at a scene, then draw it perfectly from memory.
One Of His Drawings From Memory, The Details Is Incredible
Less Able Bodied Access On The Fairground
It got me thinking as to what issues people with some conditions faced on the modern fairground. I know various disability acts of law have meant that buildings and public places have been adapted to help. But I don’t think much has been done on in the funfair industry.
Truth be told, I don’t think is is financially viable to have say a thrill ride adapted for wheelchair users. Perhaps some of the giant wheels would be credible. They tend to have sloping decks rather than steps, and the cars on many are probably large enough to allow a wheelchair in.
But most of the modern high speed rides are built in such a way that it just wouldn’t be possible to squeeze a chair inside the carriage. To make physical changes to a ride, it would then need to be subject to a ‘Design review’, a complex and costly process to ensure the ride is safe in its new form.
Like many showmen I have helped transfer guests from their wheelchair onto a ride and back. Any operator would be more than happy to do that. I know it isn’t ideal for the customer, and I should imagine it can even be degrading, but I am afraid that its probably the way it will stay.
Special Nights
Many regular funfairs, both large and small, will hold a special night for people less able. Sometimes its advertised and its a sort of free for all, other times the operator in charge will actually contact local organisations and make it a more formalised arrangement.
I do remember one event, where a large group of guests turned up who didn’t have physical disabilities. I am not sure of their actual condition, but they were all really big guys. They spotted a little ride, meant for probably 5-10 year olds and for some reason really liked it. The trouble was as 20 large guys all plonked themselves down heavily in the seats at the precise same time, the poor little ride just folded up on itself. To be fair, it was a ride called the Buzz Bomb, usually these were built almost as a diy ride, just after the war. They used the external drop tanks off of Spitfires, which had the tops sliced off and seats installed. I don’t know if it ever actually made it back into use or it was scrapped.
Buzz Bomb Cars
Autistic Sessions
A number of events now are holding special sessions for autistic kids. They turn the music off on the rides, turn the lighting down, and reduce the speed so that they are not overloaded with sensations. They also keep a special chill out area available so there is somewhere to calm down if needed.
Obviously this is something that any fairground can make happen. It doesn’t require physical changes to the rides and can be organised easily and quickly.
Helping The Deprived
In addition to the less able bodied, fairgrounds will quite often distribute free tickets to the less fortunate. Those in care homes or schools in deprived areas.
It does bring to mind one incident though. We were at a fair in Wallsend, in the North East. A social worker brought a young lad down for a night at the fair. Now, this kid had been nicknamed in the press ‘Rat Boy’. There is a large dystopian structure called the Byker Wall. Its like a giant wall, but with flats built into it. It seems this kid had actually lived in the ventilation system. When a flat was empty he would climb through the ducts and rob it. The police had been after him for months and caught him the night before.
Anyway, this social worker put him on the dodgems ride. He promptly drove the full length of the dodgems. Stopped the car at the other end, jumped out and ran away up a bank.
Took the police another 6 months to recapture him. Reading a report, it seems they now call him Rat Man, as he is still on the rob.
The Byker WallRat Boy
If you would like to hire dodgems or other funfair attractions for special needs use, talk to us and we would love to help provide a package tailored to your requirements especially for the less able.
A few year ago I started importing lights from a German company. They were based at a little village called Waakirchen in Southern Germany, not far from Munich.
The first order I picked up was for about 5K worth. So being the initial order I decided to drive down and collect them. The Munchen Oktoberfest was on at the time, so I decided to go for a few days and visit the event. A good mate of mine told me he would come with me so I booked a crossing from Hull, the plan being to drive the 1200 kilometers over the first day.
At the time I had a little clapped out Nissan Cherry. It was that bad when my dad bought it, that my mother wouldn’t ride in it. I loved it, it was like a little rally car, I ended up spreading it up the A1 just outside the Metro Centre in a 6 car pile up.
Nissan Cherry
A Pile Of Cash
Now a the time, being young, and skint, I didn’t have the money readily available to pay for these lights. So the deal with my customer was that he put the money in the bank before I left. As we were loading up the car to set off, he turned up in person, apologised for not loading my bank account for me, and gave me a bag with the cash in. I shoved it under the seat and we set off.
Arrival In Deutschland And Cool Fräuleins.
When we arrived in Munich, we had a bit of trouble finding an hotel. The fact that the cities biggest event was in full swing meaning hotel rooms were in short supply, hadn’t occurred to us. We eventually managed to find a doss house in a seedy part of the city. I admit when we got in the room and it was decorated with what would now be termed LGBT posters, and the leaflet on the bed had times for the live sex shows in the hotel we were a bit perturbed, but hey, two single lads we were out on the town.
We found a rather nice little bar, pretty much empty but we had just drove 1200 KM and needed a drink. The two barmaids were absolute stunners, tall blond Aryan goddesses. I had learnt some pidgeon German, you know how to order a beer, tell a girl she had beautiful eyes, that sort of thing.
So I hit them with the full charm, like focused laser beams, thought it would knock them bandy. Bloody nothing, not even a smile. FFS we were going to have our work cut out here. I know they were supposed to be cool and Teutonic and all, but this was icily arctic.
By now the bar had filled up, when I turned round and actually took notice, it was full of young men sat kissing each other. Aah, perhaps the barmaids lack of response was for a reason.
After a bit of a pub crawl we headed off to our hotel.
The Oktoberfest
At the time, it was widely considered that the continental fairground attractions were a few years ahead of the best the UK had to offer. When we hit the Oktoberfest, we realised they were a couple of decades in front. Everything was just, bigger, faster, moderner, better decorated.
Oktoberfest
We had a full day there, including sampling their beer served in those bloody Steins, jeez, its a wonder they are not a nation of alcoholics.
After we had our fill, of the Oktoberfest and the beer. We headed back to the hotel. I had parked our car out the front of it, and just as we set off to the festival, I had opened the boot to retrieve my coat. Setting off back I put my hand in my pocket and realised I no longer had the keys. I asked Matthew if I had given them to him, I hadn’t as it turns out, I had left them in the lock of the boot. A bloody car thieves Christmas present. With 5K of someone else’s money under the drivers seat.
Feeling sick as a parrot we got back in double time, to find the car still there, with a note under the windscreen wiper saying, “Found your keys, left them in the pub over the road!”, in English to boot. Imagine if that had been say Sunderland. There would have been a note on the empty parking space saying found your keys left your car in the river Wear thanks for the cash.
Adolf And The SS
We successfully collected the lights and stuff without further incident. As we weren’t in a hurry we had a more leisurely drive back towards Holland. Coming across a really small rest stop, we decided to have a quick drink. We parked up and went to the two ladies manning it. They were rather abrupt and told us that they didn’t in fact open for 20 minutes. An elderly gent sitting at a nearby table asked us if we wanted a drink. When we nodded he gestured for us to follow him. Being 17 and a bit naive we did so.
He took us to a house over the road and down into the basement. Which happened to be a fully kitted out bar, something that would put some commercial establishments to shame. He poured us all a beer. While Matthew was trying to make small talk with the guy, I wandered around the room. One wall was covered in photos and I was interested to see them. When I got close up, it turns out they were all framed pictures of Adolf Hitler with groups of SS men. The largest photo had Adolf stood with a young officer. I couldn’t be certain but it looked a little like the guy who had brought us down there.
Having recently seen the film Boys from Brazil, and in my teenage imagination expecting a guy with a dentists drill to pop out any minute. I hurried Matthew along, thanked our host and we lived to tell the tale.
Took All This Lot For A Holiday Did We Sir
When we reached dear old blighty, we disembarked the ferry and set off towards the immigration sheds. Now, if you have ever done this, you will know there are two lanes. Goods to declare, and nothing to declare. I promptly drove into the nothing to declare side.
An officer stopped me with a wave of his hand. “Are you aware sir, that this is the nothing to declare lane.” all very polite and congenial.
“I certainly am officer”, says I with my most respectful grin.
Now I should say at this point, that the pile of equipment we had purchased whilst in Germany filled the car to the roof. In fact the seats were pushed as far forward as they would go so we could fit everything in.
“So you have nothing to declare son, is that correct?” he retorted.
“Yup” says I. “Oh, so you have taken this lot for a holiday to the Oktoberfest have you, Bloody well pull over there and don’t move till I come see you”, well, his politeness didn’t last.
We sat there for the best part of an hour whilst everybody else disembarked. When he finally came to see us he had a more authoritarian attitude.
“Now son, would you like to explain why you don’t think you have anything to declare when your car is full to the gunnals?”
“Yes says I meekly, here is my receipt, as you can see I paid VAT in Germany for everything, and as their rate is higher than ours, I don’t need to pay you, sir”
Oh his face was a picture, he basically told us to piss off home.
Showmen Thank The NHS. Like many business’s at the minute, the funfair industry has pretty much ceased to exist. With events cancelled up until the middle of the summer and beyond. Indeed some Christmas events are now being cancelled, we are not sure when we will be allowed to operate again.
The common opinion is that it will be next year before events start to come out of the lockdown. We can’t see all the sacrifices made during the lockdown period being swept aside by letting major festivals go ahead. And rightly so. The important thing at the minute is saving lives, hard as it sounds, business will need to take a back seat.
Showmen are an enterprising breed, many have rapidly started small food delivery business’s to keep some income rolling in. There must be a massive market in home delivered fruit and veg. If the amount of showmen who have turned greengrocer is any indication.
Saying Thank You
The showmen however, in the midst of seeing their livelihoods disappear, and with no real idea when they will be allowed to work again, have found time to say thank you to our heroic front line NHS staff and key workers.
We have all stood and clapped to let them know how we feel, but around the country, groups of showmen have raised funds to show their appreciation in a practical way.
Many hospitals put calls out for toiletries and such like. As patients were ending up on Corvid wards, with no supplies. Because of the current visiting rules, their families couldn’t come to see them and bring what they needed.
In short order groups of showmen have raised not inconsiderable sums to purchase toiletries, bottled water, things like pot noodles and other snacks to help alleviate the hospitals shortage.
Showmen’s Guild
In my native North East, the funfair trade body made a donation to start the ball rolling. A number of showmen also took it upon themselves to raise funds.
One member donated a vehicle to be used for delivering the items. Another who runs a small sign making business, lettered the vehicle up free of charge.
They made delivery runs to a number of Northern hospitals. Other showmen added to this and covered smaller centres such as care homes.
I have touched upon the Northern Section of the industry, purely because I come from the area. But the same thing has taken place in most parts of the UK. North East local press reported on the story.
It just goes to show, “There is no business like show business”, and the Showmen thank the NHS to show their appreciation.
