Author: Jarm69

Fun Story

Mixing Idiots And Electricity.

1 July 2020

Tales Of Misadventures.

For some reason, many of our tales of mishap seem to involve electricity. This one however really wasn’t our fault.

When I was still a youth, before I made the jump into the corporate market and I was still operating at traditional funfairs. I had a sideline, I used to design and build lighting control systems. When you see the lights flashing on the funfair rides, or at Blackpool illuminations, they have an electronic control system to flash them in the correct sequence. My first ever business was building these controllers.

A friend of mine in Scotland, used to act as an agent for me. I would build the units he would sell them. Now, many of the funfair rides at that time didn’t operate from standard 240v household type electricity. Instead they used a 110 volt Direct Current system. This was an older, but safer form of electric. You can hold a live wire in your hand without any ill effects. The one drawback to it, was if two wires touched they tended to spark and arc very badly. You could touch two cables together and move them apart a number of inches and keep a flame of electric present between the two.

Blinded By The Light

The lighting systems for these 110v powered rides tended to be very high current. Often needing to power three or four hundred amps of lighting. The mains connection tended to be brass bolts of around an inch diameter to carry the load. There were three main connections, one for the negative supply. One for the positive supply, and the final one for the common feed to the lights. The last two were actually joined together by a large brass busbar because they were of the same polarity.

My friend turns up one day with a unit for repair. Looking at it, the common and positive brass bolts had been melted down to nothing.

WTF!, happened I asked. When he finished laughing he managed to tell me. The guy that had purchased the unit, had misread the wiring diagram, and connected the positive and negative supply to the two bolts that were joined together. Basically a dead short. Now, he couldn’t start the generator. Not surprising as the dead short basically presented an infinite load and the engine wasn’t powerful enough to turn the dynamo over.

So, he had the bright idea of having a member of staff hold the cables ready. He would start the generator and when it was running, the said stooge would push the cables onto the brass bolts connecting the electricity.

The result he reported, was a massive flash of light. What he rather though Hiroshima would have looked like just after the bomb dropped. This was followed by a huge flame. Which not only melted the bolts to nothing, it also removed the poor staff members moustache, eyebrows and most of his fringe. In fact he said, the guy very much resembled a chimney sweep. One who had just cleaned out a particularly filthy chimney.

Catering, Event Planning

New Customisable Carts

29 June 2020

We hope you like our new customisable carts range.

Few people can claim that this Covid lockdown has been good. Well, I know a handful whose business has gone through the roof. We have suffered financially, but on another level it has helped us.

Because we have been so busy for so long we have pretty much cruised along. During the lockdown we have taken a long look at everything we do. In many cases we have realised we could be doing things better. Or building more into our services.

We have taken this and decided to do something about it. We are revamping and rebuilding our range of carts and attractions. Adding in house branding services to most of what we do. Generally doing things that at one time we would have been at the forefront in.

Custom Themed Carts

The first result of this has been to adapt our little Alpine huts to take a new interchangeable panel system that allows us to theme them up. We have always been willing to add flowers and ribbons or the occasional sign. The new system allows us to alter the character of the cart to suit the clients event.

Pictured below are the initial batch of options for our new customisable carts. These are being added to as we come up with new ideas. Additionally we can very quickly design and manufacture a custom panel to suit a clients needs.

We are in the process of building a 50 inch video screen, a new pixel art screen and a VW camper themed front. As our staff come up with more ideas they will be added to the lineup.

These are intended to be a starting point, additional decor and customisation can be added quickly, and in many cases at smaller events such as weddings, free of charge.

Check out our range of catering options that can be used with these carts.

Photo Booths

Del Boy Trotter 3 Wheeled Van. Its Cushty!

26 June 2020
Del Boy Trotter Photo Booth Hire

We have a number of different iconic and quirky vehicles. None attract as much attention as our Del Boy Trotter 3 wheeled van. Driving along the road you will suddenly realise that no one has overtaken you for a while. When you look in the mirror, a car will be level with the trailer containing the van, taking photos. Once they start to pass us and get level with our towing vehicle, they look disappointed. I think they expect David Jason to be driving.

Pull into a service station for a McDonalds and when you come out there will be a crowd around the van, never fails.

The van itself is not, as Del claims in the series, a Reliant Robin. The Robin is a much newer vehicle. The actual van has the much more grandiose title of Reliant Regal Supervan MkIII.

Raleigh Cycles

The Reliant motor company was actually formed when a management buyout occurred of the motorised division of Raleigh Cycles. They had decided to concentrate on pedal bike production so sold the motor division off.

The new management needed a name for the company, and as many of the parts they had acquired were stamped with the letter R for Raleigh. They decided to choose a name beginning with R so they could reuse the parts.

Photo Booth

We acquired the van to convert it into a photo booth. You sit inside and it takes your photo, then the print pops out of the suitcase on the roof. It was actually taxed and tested and fully road worthy when we bought it. The day we fetched it home, I picked my daughter up from school in it. That was the last time I drove it on a road, what a nightmare. The handling, was like driving a jelly, the engine was about 2 inches away from your left leg so it got rather warm. The gearbox was like stirring a knitting needle in a ball of wool. The acceleration, well, I think from a standing start I could beat it on foot to about 25 mph at least.

But for all its faults its fun. We did a job in a shopping centre in West Brom. The amount of elderly gents that come to talk to me and reminisce about it being their first car. How they used to pile 6 or 7 in the back and go to the seaside, boy they were brave men in that generation.

Restoration

During the lockdown, we took the opportunity to carry out a full restoration on the car. The chassis was taken back to bare metal. Repaired where necessary. Treated and fully resprayed. The engine was stripped down for a rebuild but found to be to damaged for economical repair. We managed to source an excellent running moderner version of the Reliant engine. This was fully refurbed then fitted into the chassis, along with a fully restored rear drive axle, clutch and brakes.

The body was sanded back to its gel coat. The myriad of small cracks, dings and gouged sections filled with a carbon fibre compound for strength, then coated with a top glaze. Two coats of high build primer were followed by two coats of Ford Daytona yellow with a matting compound to take the ‘newness’ from the look of the paint.

Finally Craig Ainge, a local signwriter reapplied the lettering (actual signwriting this time rather than vinyl stickers), and added the rust streaks and dirt to the body to make it look, well, dingy!

Del Boys Props

We always provide a box of props for people to use with our photo booths. Usually hats, wigs that sort of thing. With this one we provide props themed around the series, so there is triggers broom, granddads hat etc. We did have Del’s sheepskin coat, till some light fingered prat decided to purloin it on a job. I remember on the West Brom job, my daughter going barmy, all because I had her inflate the blow up doll, cos I was a bit out of breath.

Danger UXD. Our Inflatable Vinyl Vera.

The photo booth software is custom reprogrammed to play short clips like ‘You Plonker’ and ‘This time next year we will be millionaires’

In short I don’t think we have anything that is quite as much fun. So if you need a photo booth that will make an impression, then Del Boy Trotters 3 wheeled van is definitely it!

Event Planning, Fun Story, Funfair Rides

My Kingdom For A Welder. Tales Of Misadventures.

18 June 2020

What happens when you don’t take a welder.

We put a lot of work into being professional, giving our clients an excellent service and hopefully securing regular repeat business. Sometimes though I think we are a bit like ducks, all calm and serene looking on the surface, whilst paddling furiously underneath to keep things going.

We seem to go for extended periods of time, without any major problems or issues. Then all of a sudden the gods of spite rear their ugly heads to slap us about a bit.

A few years ago we were contracted to provide a small family funfair for the opening of NUS Mutuals new headquarters. I wrote about our run in with Princess Anne’s bodyguards at the same event.

In the event, we got set up in the nick of time, operated to the clients satisfaction and was all derigged ready for the road by about 11pm. That should have put us on getting back home for around 2am.

We sent the girls on ahead in the car, I was in a lorry towing a children’s ride, and Arthur was in another lorry towing a trailer loaded with equipment.

Arthur

I’ll introduce Arthur, he could loosely be described as a business partner. There was nothing official, but we tended to do some of the larger jobs together. Physically he looked a bit like Austin Powers, only much much shorter. Think of a 4ft 10 version of Austin Powers, glasses and all and you would be on the right track.

Anyway, I was just approaching Tamworth services when I gets a phone call from Arthur.

“One of the wheels on my trailer is hot”

“How Hot” I enquired.

“Too FU*&^NG hot to touch”, was his expert opinion. That sounded like a wheel bearing was on its way out. I told him I would wait for him in the services.

When he arrived I found he was pretty accurate in his diagnoses, It was too hot to touch. I told him to jack the wheel off the floor so we could see how bad it was. When he did the wheel promptly fell off. The bearing wasn’t on its way out, it had left the building, deceased, kaput, as dead as a very dead thing.

Collapsed Wheel Bearing
Not our bearing, but one remarkably like it.

When Spares Are A Good Idea

Luckily, the bearing was the same type as used on the wheels of the children’s ride I was towing. I always keep a couple of spares in stock, as they have failed on me in the past. No probs, half an hour and we would be back on the road. We cleaned the stub axle up, changed the bearing, put the wheel back on, and I told Arthur to tighten the locking nut to hold everything in place.

Slight problem he told me, the threads had been damaged and the nut wouldn’t go back on. Crap, we will have to weld it on. “Got a welder” he asked, I did in fact have one, 100 miles away back at base. Why havent you got one was my retort, “Because I didn’t know my FU*&^NG wheel bearing was FU*&^NG going to FU*&^NG fail” was his eloquent reply.

My Kingdom For A Welder

So there we were half past midnight stuck in services on a Sunday morning with no welder. Luckily I thought of my Uncle Michael. About 60 miles away in Nottinghamshire, at that time he would have just been coming in from the pub. A quick call and he agreed to leave a welder at the gate of his property for us to pick up.

Cue a 2 hour round trip for the welder. We got back set the welder up, ran a cable to the power generator, started it up, and welded the nut on. Only we didn’t, as Arthur touched the welding rod to the nut, the generator stopped.

Having just installed it the day before, it didn’t have a fuel tank fitted, instead the fuel was in a five gallon plastic drum. This had moved en route and pulled the fuel pipe out so the engine was starved of diesel. Not an issue, we have purged the fuel system of air plenty often in the past.

My Kingdom For A Battery

We did that, turned the key, and nothing happened, the sodding battery was flat. Now we needed jumper cables, which were also back home. No problem, we were in a services, you could go and buy a set from the garage. You know the type, they are £3.99 a set, only in the services they add a 0 on the end.

No matter the cost we needed the bloody things. We connected them up and yay, the damn thing started. Only the rattling and crunching indicated that the starter motor hadn’t disengaged. It was now being torn apart by the engine running.

Arthur looked at me, “Just weld the FU&*^NG thing on and we’ll repair the starter tomorrow.”

We limped home just as it was becoming daylight, a three hour trip turning into around 8 hours.

Cheap Jump leads
Our Highly Valuable Cheap Jump Leads

Read one of our earlier tales of woe.

Fun Story, General

Modern Technology, A Brave New World

14 June 2020

Like everyone in the country, or indeed much of the planet. We are all sat here in isolation. But that got me thinking, imagine if this pandemic had occurred say 20 years ago. How much different would things have been without modern technology.

We all had phones 20 years ago granted, so we could talk. Now however look at the options. From video calls on your mobile, to Skype, Portal, Echo Show, zoom, numerous methods of larger screen face to face communication. Sometimes for the isolated just seeing someone as you talk to them can make all the difference.

One of our Photo Booths is a Del Boy Trotter 3 wheeled van. The props for the booth are all themed around the series, so we have Grandad’s hat, Triggers broom etc. We also have a couple of the original Motorola ‘Brick’ phones. You know the ones, size and weight of a house brick, battery lasted a week, put them in your trousers and the weight would pull them down. And if you were ever mugged you could use it to beat the attacker senseless.

Anyway we did a couple of days at a shopping centre in West Brom. Kids and their dads would rummage through the props box. When they came to the phone the kids would ask ‘Whats this dad?’

When told it was a mobile phone it was like, ‘What, no way, where’s the screen, how do you look at Facebook.’ Now phones are that small you can slip them up your left nostril. Though I can remember when this brick phone was modern technology, the original mobile phone came with a separate battery that you could just about lift.

Information

Besides Google and the other search engines, we also have the NHS 111 number. Checking if your symptoms could be Corvid-19 is only a phone call or search engine away. At one time none of this existed. Instead you would have been calling your local GP. Or more accurately trying to. With thousands of people all worried and panicking, how long would it be before the local health services had to take their phones off the hook. They wouldn’t have a hope in hells chance of coping.

Not connected to the current situation, but think of the way some of the other sources of information have changed. We all had telephone directories, and Yellow Pages. Both of which were a struggle to lift they were that big. You try looking for something in the Yellow pages, it meant hours of wading through adverts trying to find what you wanted.

Now, you type it into Google and the information comes to you. Modern technology at its finest.

Medical Facilities

I had the misfortune to avail myself of our medical services recently. A burst appendix meant emergency surgery. I now have 4 tiny little puncture marks across my abdomen, 2 for the keyhole surgery, and 2 from the drains fitted to remove the poison. It wasn’t that long ago when I would have had a large scar across my body where they would have opened me up to remove it. Indeed at one time even an operation such as an
appendicectomy would have carried a high risk. I made the mistake in hospital when talking to the surgeon, of calling it an appendectomy, only to be told off because evidently that is an American term.

It is forecast that, like Italy etc we are going to see a lot of deaths from this terrible pandemic. But imagine if this was 20 years ago, how much higher would the death toll be. It seems that ventilators are going to be one of the key items to save lives. A consortium of tech companies are ramping up to massively increase our supply of the device. Could we have really done this twenty years ago, heck could we have done it ten years ago in the same timeframe?

Entertainment

At one time we had the 5 terrestrial channels. Sky, and a few cable services, if you wanted a particular film you needed to walk to the local Blockbusters and hire it. Now we have the massive list of freeview stations, Amazon Prime channels, Netflix, Youtube, Spotify and so on. There is an unbelievable amount of entertainment that can be accessed, streamed downloaded. Fair enough much of it is crap. But amongst it all there should be enough to keep everyone entertained to some degree.

We are all spoilt with access to almost any movie we wish on demand. At one time you visited your local video tape store, where hopefully they had the film you wanted in stock. If it was a popular one then the chances are you would struggle to get it. Once hired you fetched a tape like the one below back to play on your video machine. What you then got was a sometimes grainy fairly lowish resolution picture, with garbage sound. If the tape you had hired had been well used then the picture quite often would begin to degrade and become grainy, or have bits of the dialogue drop out. None of this 4k or 8k super hi res, with Dolby surround sound processing.

Working From Home

With the country in lock down, we have been told to work from home where possible. Now obviously a lot of us can’t. You would find the wife kicking a stink up if you tried to build cars in her front room. And most gardens aren’t going to be big enough to fabricate wings for Airbus.

For much of the service industry and creative media industry however its a different story. A multiplicity of conference software, and collaborative office and design software mean that this is a real option for a lot of people. Fast internet speeds are the secret sauce facilitating this. The dial up speeds of yesteryear just would have had us working at the speed of a British Leyland worker in the 1970’s. Instead some parts of the global economy are still ticking over, and hopefully can hit the ground running once we are released from lockdown.

Online Shopping

Part of the lockdown is that all non essential shops are closed. But how much of an inconvenience is this in practice. Unless we need something, like, now, we tend to buy online. The mighty Amazon stocks an awful lot of what we need. With its Prime service, delivery tends to be overnight, or indeed on some items same day.

Almost anything else you want can be ordered online, with rapid delivery, and in many cases for less than what you would pay in a bricks and mortar store.

Indeed my daughter has a steady stream of deliveries from various fashion and beauty outlets. So much so that a recent delivery driver remarked that ‘your daughter must have come back off holiday’, ‘How do you know shes been on holiday’ I asked. Dead simple was the reply, ‘Our deliveries dropped by 50% whilst shes been away.’